A “mysterious” breakfast with friends


*It’s breakfast time at the Gaylord Hotel. The breakfast room is almost empty. Escargoon and Dedede sit at one table, with a massive pile of food in front of him. At the next table, ZUN is hunched over, in slight pain.*
ZUN

Heh… it seems like I overdid it last night…

King Dedede

Grrrn, can ya believe it Escargoon?! Beaten by some stupid skeleton outta nowhere… that was so much more humiliatin’ compared to last time!

Escargoon

With all due respect, your majesty, this battle was still very close. You did a great fight, worthy of a dict- um, of a true king!

ZUN

Hey, Dedede, it looks like we both got taken out by the pale ones, heh? *laughs*

King Dedede

Watcha laughin’ at? Pah, the fans must be outta dere minds if they think that puzzler is better than the oh so wonderful King Dedede!

Escargoon

Man, and here I was thinking that horrible pasta-maker was your fri-

*WHACK!*
King Dedede

For the last time, Escargoon, dat pasta wasn’t horrible! Have a lil’ respect for some good food! Just like I’ll respect some right about now!

*Dedede starts munching his food loudly. ZUN does not seem to appreciate the noise. He grabs a bottle on his table, when suddenly…*
???

Hey, Sir! Sir! I know this girl in your pocket, da-don!

ZUN

Wh- wh- huh? Who’s there?

*The voice comes from under. ZUN looks to his left, next to his chair. Don-chan is pointing at the Fumo with a drumstick.*
Don-chan

Yeah, that girl, da-don! She’s your friend?

ZUN

My… friend? Uhhh… yes, you could say that…?

Don-chan

Oooooooh! You know her! I’m so excited, da-don! Hey, Hakuko-san, Hakuko-san! Can we sit here for breakfast?

Hakuko

Oh, hello, erm, ZUN, is that right? Sorry for bothering you, Don-chan is such a little prankster!

ZUN

That’s me! And don’t worry, he was just pointing at my doll. I’m quite surprised he knows about her!

*Hakuko and Don-chan sit at ZUN’s table with their plates. Hakuko’s plate is full of fruits; Don took pancakes and sushi.*
ZUN

So, uh, Don-chan, was it? I remember having a few collaborations with Taiko no Tatsujin before, and I sent a few Touhou goodies to your workplace. Is that how you know about Reimu?

Don-chan

No no no! I really met her, da-don! She’s a very nice girl, but she often hits people without knowing if they really are enemies. Like me, da-don…

ZUN

Sounds like her! Where did you two meet?

Don-chan

We went on a mystery adventure together, da-don! And, that big penguin Dedede and his friend Kirby-san were there too, da-don! And… hey! Heyyy!

Hakuko

Huh? What is it, Don-chan?

*A person in blue turns towards the trio.*
Phoenix Wright

Oh? Are you calling for me?

Don-chan

Yeah! You, the blue suit guy! Do you remember me?

Phoenix Wright

Hmmm, yeah I feel like we have met before. When was it?

Don-chan

Yeah yeah! Don’t you remember our Mystery Adventure?

*Don jumps on the ground, snaps the Fumo from ZUN’s pocket and gets back on his chair.*
Don-chan

And this girl was there too, da-don! You remember, don’t you?

Reimu Fumo

put me down.

Phoenix Wright

Ah yes, I do remember! You invited quite a few people to that, didn’t you Don-chan?

Hakuko

Yeah, it was incredible! How did you manage to get so many people to accept? Oh- hey, Mr. Wright! Do you want to sit with us?

Phoenix Wright

I don’t mind! (As long as I don’t have to deal with Monokuma for the time being, he’s been getting rowdy lately…)

*Phoenix sits at the table. He has a well-organized plate with many different types of food.*
ZUN

*laughs* it seems all of us have been on plenty of outings! By the way, uhh… please give me back my Fumo.

*Don gives the Fumo back to ZUN with a slight giggle.*
Hakuko

By the way, Mr. Wright, congratulations for getting so far in the tournament! Just like in your trials, you haven’t received a single defeat!

Phoenix Wright

Thank you! I must admit, it’s been a nice change of pace to be able to relax for a bit after my investigation…

ZUN

Oh? If I remember correctly, you should have already had that trial by now. Isn’t the time limit a week?

Phoenix Wright

Even less, but the Judge and Judge Jerome are pushing it back to not interfere with the tournament. (I swear I must be the only one who didn’t know about this channel before coming in…)

ZUN

The break must be nice! *laughs* Feels like you’ve been questioning everyone and picking up everything. So, do you mind if I ask who you think did it?

Hakuko

I don’t think Mr. Wright can tell us, silly!

Phoenix Wright

No, no, it’s quite alright! I must be honest, I’ve been pouring over everything and I can’t make any solid guesses right now. It looks like I’ll have to keep investigating for the time being. (And see what Edgeworth springs on me during the trial…)

Don-chan

Ooo, can I help investigate?? Another mystery adventure for all of us, da-don!

Phoenix Wright

I’ll see about that, little guy. Honestly, I’d take any partner over the bear…

Hakuko

He seems quite mean-spirited with his sense of humor. He tried to give Don-chan here a flamethrower once…

Don-chan

It made such pretty lights, don!

Phoenix Wright

How am I not surprised?

*Monokuma walks into the room wearing a baby blue onesie and holding a plate. It has a single but massive salmon on it. He sits at the table with the group.*
Phoenix Wright

(Speak of the devil and he shall come…)

Don-chan

Hi hi, da-don!

*Monokuma scarfs down the salmon all at once with one large bite.*
Monokuma

Wow-ee, this bear is stuffed! Nice talking to you guys! Toodaloo!

*Monokuma bounces out of the room like nothing happened.*
Don-chan

Bye bye, da-don!

*Everyone sits silently as they hang on what just happened. The only noise is Dedede’s munching.*
Phoenix Wright

…Ladies and gentlemen, I have to share a room with that thing.

Don-chan

Hehehe, he’s so silly!

King Dedede

Pssh, y’all’re impressed by some bear eating one measly fish? Hah! That’s nothing!

ZUN

I’d be careful around him, Don-chan. He might rub off on you!

Phoenix Wright

The last thing he needs is a little partner. I’ve already had to try and convince him not to bring his kids here…

King Dedede

-In fact, I could beat that darned bear in anything! That goes for everyone! I’d just like to see y’all challenge me to somethin’!

ZUN

Wait, he’s a dad..!?

Phoenix Wright

I didn’t believe it either until he showed me baby photos… Anyways, enough about me and the bear. How have you three been?

ZUN

Well, it’s surely been a rough one. Mariya completely cornered me.

Hakuko

I’m quite surprised and admirative at how well she’s been doing! She has nice varying rhythms, but at the same time, so have you!

King Dedede

Dat didn’t help him to win doe! Eheheheheh!

Escargoon

Sire, you-

*Dedede whips out his hammer. Escargoon flinches.*
Escargoon

No Sire, I just wanted to say you have some food on the ground. Taking such a big plate was not very smart of y-

*WHACK!*
Escargoon

I should have known… I said too much!

Don-chan

I love your songs, ZUN-san! I like to play them sometimes, da-don! They’re challenging but beautiful at the same time!

ZUN

Well, if people still like my songs despite my elimination, it’s all that matters, I guess! What about you two though? You fought greatly against that spy!

Hakuko

Yeah, we did…

Phoenix Wright

Hmm? What is with those faces? Aren’t you happy you won?

Don-chan

We are happy we won, don. But…

Hakuko

Phoenix Wright

(Where’s Apollo’s bracelet when you need it…?) …Well, what matters is that you pulled through in the end. You did very well for yourselves and should be proud!

ZUN

Right! And now you have that fiendishly brilliant Dr. Robotnik to fight; that battle will surely be as tense as a Stage 6 boss.

Don-chan

Yeah, da-don! But we’re training well. We don’t fear that robot guy, right Hakuko-san?

Hakuko

Right! I hope it’s the same for you against those cool cats, Mr. Wright.

King Dedede

Dose stupid cats… it should have been me dat should have fought that bear!

Phoenix Wright

Well on my part, now that I know the trial has been put on hold, I can at least put more time into this tournament. I still have Monokuma to deal with, but it makes Maya happy- and I must admit that I’m really warming up to everyone here.

King Dedede

What about- hey, why is everyon’ still ignorin’ me??

Don-chan

Hehehe, you haven’t changed at all since the last time we met, da-don! Still not happy when people don’t talk to you, don!

Hakuko

I’m sure he’s as jealous about Kirby stealing the spotlight from him as that doctor with his “blasted hedgehog,” hehe!

King Dedede

Oh, so you wanna make this a popularity contest, eh? Well, I’m in Smash and NONE OF YOU ARE! HAH, TAKE THAT, LOSERS! THE GREAT KING DEDEDE WINS IN THE END! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

*A beat. Then all four have a good laugh.*
King Dedede

Heh heh he- Ey, what’s the big idea?!

ZUN

Give us time, I’m sure all of us here are hot on your tail!

Don-chan

Also, I am in Smash too, da-don! You just didn’t catch me!

King Dedede

Grrrr, why is everyon’ pushing me to my limits rite now? Thankfully, I have a good punchin’ bag to calm me down!

Escargoon

Sire, I beg of you-

Phoenix Wright

You really want to do this right now? In front of a lawyer? I won’t even need to ask that snail if he needs my help, I got all the evidence I need!

King Dedede

Hrrrngh… if I can’t whack dat dere Escargoon for relief and enjoyment here, big ol’ me will need to find anotha place to vent. See ya, you fools!

Escargoon

Wait, Sire, you- Ohhhh, he’s leaving without finishing his plate! There’s still so much food on it… I don’t want to waste and make the personnel mad, but I can’t eat all of that!

Don-chan

Need any help? I am still hungry, da-don! This plate is a battle I can win!

*Don-chan joins Escargoon to finish Dedede’s plate.*
Hakuko

Speaking of battles, did you see the results of the duel between these cold dudes and the cats you’ll face next, Mr. Wright?

ZUN

Hah! It reminds me of something.

Hakuko

Hahaha! Happily we can have a laugh about our own miss now…

Phoenix Wright

Too bad the penguin isn’t here, I bet he would say he enjoyed that match as well!

Hakuko

Hey Don-chan, don’t eat too much! I don’t want you to be stuffed for our training!

Don-chan

Food… so delicious… da-don! Mmmm! I’ll be fine… da-don!

ZUN

I guess I can… help a bit? I feel a bit more hungry, thinking about it… that tournament is exhausting! *laughs*

Escargoon

You are all too kind… Sorry about my liege, he can be a bit… explosive at times!

Phoenix Wright

Here, let me start cleaning up while that’s being taken care of.

*The group finishes the food, and after their hefty breakfast they all pitch in to make sure the table and surrounding area is clean, before giving their farewells and parting ways.*