Dinner Under Pressure


*The dining hall.*
Solid Snake

…what is this?

Pitbull

Creepy pasta!

Eminem

What’s with the spooky theme? Is it fuckin’ Halloween now or somethin’?

Elmo

No, silly! It’s pasta day!

Jack Black

Hey, watch your language…

Elmo

Huh? Silly isn’t a bad word, Mr. Black!

Jack Black

…You’re right Elmo, my bad! Silly is an okay word to use… unlike some other words…

Eminem

Continue reading “Dinner Under Pressure”

The B-hee-t of The Drums

Unregistered HyperCam 2

he11o vi3wers we r here with anoth3r sp1cy intervuew,, 2day we r intervu3wing jack br0s an rythm mast3rs

Meowth

These two contestants we have here today have been raging through the brackets, but both also happen to be victims of losing by a very small amount of votes! What do you think of this, Jack Bros.?

Jack Frost

Life, hee… Life, ho… Hee-ho is not fair!

Hakuko

Don’t worry, you’ll get over it. I’m sure of it!

Jack Frost

Yeah! Me and my bud-hee can do anything together! Hee-ho!

Don-chan

Same for me and my rhythm friend, da-don!

*Jack Frost looks over at Don-Chan.* Continue reading “The B-hee-t of The Drums”

A “mysterious” breakfast with friends


*It’s breakfast time at the Gaylord Hotel. The breakfast room is almost empty. Escargoon and Dedede sit at one table, with a massive pile of food in front of him. At the next table, ZUN is hunched over, in slight pain.*
ZUN

Heh… it seems like I overdid it last night…

King Dedede

Grrrn, can ya believe it Escargoon?! Beaten by some stupid skeleton outta nowhere… that was so much more humiliatin’ compared to last time!

Escargoon

With all due respect, your majesty, this battle was still very close. You did a great fight, worthy of a dict- um, of a true king!

ZUN

Hey, Dedede, it looks like we both got taken out by the pale ones, heh? *laughs*

Continue reading “A “mysterious” breakfast with friends”

How To Cheer up a Snake


*Outside. It’s night. It’s cold.*
Don-chan

Look! There he is, da-don! Mr. Snake!

Hakuko

And he’s alone…

Don-chan

Yuck! What’s that smell?

Hakuko

He’s smoking a cigarette. It’s a grown up thing, don’t worry about it.

Don-chan

Smells nasty, da-don… he must not be very happy if he’s doing something that smells so yucky…

Continue reading “How To Cheer up a Snake”

A Reluctant Duel – Snake and Rhythm Masters Reinterview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

hello evry1, welcomm to anthr iintervww; hey uhh, wat abut teh drum

Don-chan

*sneezes*

Unregistered HyperCam 2

ey drum wak up grab abrushh n put a lil wak up

Don-chan

*sneezes*

Unregistered HyperCam 2

w8 snak did u put im to slep lik alll teh others

Solid Snake

Are you kidding me? There’s no way I could put this kid to sleep with a neck as big as his… if he even has a neck.

Continue reading “A Reluctant Duel – Snake and Rhythm Masters Reinterview”

How to Cheer Up a Drum


*The scene is the studio’s stage in the middle of the night. Faint drumming sounds in rhythmic patterns. A green light appears backstage.*
Solid Snake

*into his codec* Target has been localized. Come as soon as possible, I don’t want to have to deal with this myself… What? You want me to go talk to him? You do realize my strong point is to spy on people, not to… Hrngh… Fine, but please come quickly.

*Snake gets out of his box and approaches the drumming.*
Don-chan

*suddenly stops* I-is someone there?

Continue reading “How to Cheer Up a Drum”

Feel the Beat! – Rhythm Masters Interview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

henlo erri1 todys interreviw iz wit da rytm master. tak it away, meow!

Meowth

Thank you, Hypercam! Our interviewees today have music in their veins, particularly the beat! That’s right, they are Hakuko, the rhythm girl from Rhythm Heaven, and Don-Chan, the taiko drum from Taiko no Tatsujin! …or would that be Taiko Drum Master?

Don-chan

Both are fine, da-don!

Meowth

Okay! Both of them call themselves the Rhythm Masters, and quite evidently, they represent rhythm games. I guess, dear Hakuko, that participating in such a tournament was quite obvious for you, wasn’t it?

Hakuko

You bet! Since the King for a Day Tournament is all about music, it made perfect sense for us to show to the world that rhythm can make music, well, Perfect!

Continue reading “Feel the Beat! – Rhythm Masters Interview”

Rhythm Masters

Brought together through the power of bangers, Hakuko and Don-chan set their sights on a perfect full combo all the way to the crown title. Whether it be by twisting knobs, tapping keys, or swiping at a washing machine, this duo can conquer any rhythmic challenge! Get ready for the ultimate tournament beatdown deluxe version, ta-don!

  • Sources
  • Rips featuring music from rhythm games
  • Rips featuring music by artists with frequent appearances in rhythm games
  • Examples
  • Dreams of Our Generation, Mausoleum Mash, Xepher, Brain Power, FREEDOM DIVE
  • Songs by Camellia, Sakuzyo, Shinji Hosoe (sampling masters MEGA)
Illustration: dr. awesome (@DrAwesome125)
and Keeby (@KeebyAstrokat)