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What is KFAD?*It’s one day before the finals. Piccolo is sitting in his office, hopelessly looking through papers, brainstorming ideas of any other possible way to cure Goku’s Ligma virus.*
I can’t believe it. After all this damn work, all this time with my medical degree, and yet I fucking lost to a literal virus! How am I gonna tell Goku that I failed him? If a daily dose can’t cure him, what could?! THIS IS BULLSHIT! Kami, Nail, I know you don’t want to interrupt this, but could you at least give me some advice, I have no idea what to do here! (Sorry man, I really don’t know what to say.) (You will have the find that answer yourself, Piccolo.) GOD DAMNIT, WHERE?!?! WHERE COULD I POSSIBLY FI-
God damnit, is this thing broken? I don’t even have any patients right now.
MY EARS! GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS THING! THIS PITCH IS KILLING ME! IT’S NOT EVEN PLUGGED IN!
…um…
It’s… It’s you. You bastard. You are the reason my friend Goku is about to leave this planet and the reason the universe is doomed. All I had to do was win this stupid tournament, but no…you had to ruin that plan, didn’t you? I could beat your ass right now, and turn you into ashes, even if it meant that I would lose my medical degree, but I won’t. It’s clear what people want more.
Why the hell are you here right now? Just to pester me? To see me literally go crazy over the loss of my friend? What is it?!
…I think I can stop it…the…
T-the virus? But you are a virus. How could a thing that isn’t even a doctor, that is meant to harm, cure something as serious as Ligma?
Biological diseases aren’t too hard to fix…like…you’re a doctor, right?
The fact you’re making me hallucinate Goku dying right now is already a red flag, but at least it’s something I am familiar with. You are my only chance left. If you promise me that you can save him, but instead you fail and hurt him, I will kick your ass so hard you won’t exist anymore. Whatever you are, are you absolutely sure that you can cure Goku?
…yes.
Bitchin’. So how are we doing this?
The voices in your head… I can transfer one to your friend.
Nail and Kami? So you’re saying that transferring one of the ones I fused with to Goku will heal him? But that’s impossible! Everyone knows Namekians can’t fuse with humans!
Actually it’s not that hard…
Well if you somehow by God can do that, I guess it would make sense it would heal Goku, considering how fusing with Nail and Kami made me stronger. However, losing one of them will make me weaker, so the question is, who wants to go?
(…) (…)
We don’t have much time guys, one of you has to go! I’m sorry, it just has to be this way, you’ve both been my pals forever, but the journey for one of you has run its course. (I guess I’ll go, bro. Just for you.) Nail? Are you absolutely sure about this decision? (Trust me, I am. You have saved me in my time of need, without you I would just be a pathetic corpse. It is time I return you the favor.) …Alright then. It is settled. We must go. Glitch guy, get in my truck.
We can make this a little faster if we use 5̶̢̯͔̭̰̊͊0̶̧̡̢͙̻̄̐̎4̵̹͇͉͒̋͒̕F̴̨͉̽4̵̫͊̎̂̚B̸̦͌̈́̌̀4̷̡͈͍̙̝̎͂̑̓5̸̲͚͈̻̾͂̄4̷̟͖͌̇̚4̵͓̼̺̮̘͂͑̎̇̈4̸̤͖̪̉͑͠5̸̛̼̣͊͒̅̇5̸̺̮̮̋̌8̴̛̝͖̗̖̐͜5̶̨̥̥̭̃̀̒͌ͅ4̶̗̬͐ͅ5̸̡͈͙͗̇̈́̚͘2̶̣̯̗͛̀̍4̶̠̯̞̒͛̍͂͜͠1̷͙̱̌4̷̧̳͍͐̇̋̑̈Ē̶͙̖̘͔̆5̸̱̪͕̗͉͂̚3̸̢̤̣̳̗͐̀͝4̸̮̄̈́͑̀̕ͅ6̴̞̖͔̔̽4̸̖̈́́̍ͅ5̸̻͈͉͛̾5̸͔̺̺̝̲̕2̴̧͖͚̊̊4̵̮̟̠͛̎̍̚ͅ1̸̠̹̝͆̋̈́̆4̷̡͋̀́̿C̴̢̦̟̪̠̔̍̈́̄̏.
What the hell are you doing?! What is the meaning of this?!
Stay still…
You better let me go or I-
Hey doc, my buddy hee-re got hit with a microp-ho-ne! He tried stealing a tiny drum!
Me am more pain, again.
Wait… where the hee did that guy ho?
Where did everybody go?
*Outside Goku’s house. Dr. Piccolo falls from a cloud of pixels.*
GAH! What the FUCK?! I’ve seen weird shit like this but I never thought I’d experience it…
Sorry… Let’s see your friend before it’s too late.
Oh god, I see him through the window, he’s lying in bed, he must be in his final moments! LET’S GET IN THERE!
You didn’t have to blast… uh… let’s just hurry.
GOKU! Oh my god, Goku, can you hear me? We’ll get you fixed up ok?!
Huh? Wh-
HURRY! Do the transfer!…It was nice knowing you, Nail. (You too, Piccolo, I will always remember the times we had together, cya on the other side, man.)
Pokétransporter allows you to transfer Pokémon from a compatible game. Would you like to download Pokétransporter from the eShop?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! YES YOU MORON!
> Yes
No
Downloading…
Oh my god I swear if you don’t have it downloaded in the next 5 seconds I’ll blow your pixels out of your ass.
Download Completed.
Welcome to the Pokemon Bank. Would you like to transfer Box 1?
YES GOD DAMNIT!
…uh…wait…he seems fi-
DO IIIIIIIIIITTTT
> Yes
No
Transferring…
WE’RE LOSING HIM! HE’S PASSING OUT!
Mmmph! MMMPPHH!!!!
Transfer complete.
*releases hand* Goku?! Are you there?!
What the hell was that Piccolo?!
What do you mean what the hell was that? I just saved your damn life!
My life??!! I was sleeping!
Yeah, well you were about to go to sleep forever due to your ligma…
My?…Ohhhhhhhh! Piccolo, you’re so gullible! When I told you I had ligma it was a joke! Ligma balls, get it? Funny, huh! (Oh my god that’s hysterical hahaha, up top dude!) Wait, who’s this in my head?
You’re telling me that this whole damn time, all my time of becoming a doctor, stressing out, USING MY TIME TO STUDY LIGMA, AND IT WAS ALL JUST SOME SICK JOKE?!
Uh… yeahhhhh. You really need to start knowing how to take jokes, Piccolo.
*sigh* Goku, I really fucking hate you, but I’m just glad… you’re ok.
Yeah I’m fine, dude, now can you tell me who’s this voice in my head? (Sup, I’m your new roommate.)
Oh, man, well it has been a while, I guess we have a lot to catch up on. I have my schedule wiped just for this one moment, to think my entire life led to this…
Again, not my fault you can’t take a joke, Piccolo. (Trust me, he’s always like this, bro.) Hahahaha! Even this voice thinks you can’t! How funny is that? You know, I feel this new voice and I are gonna be great friends!
God damnit Nail… See you on the other side, you glorious bastard.
Anyway, do you and your uh… friend there wanna go get something to eat? I’m starving after being suffocated by your hand.
Cmon, Missingno. You did good, let’s go get some grub. Maybe you can even try one of my daily doses.
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What?
Uh… nothing. Let’s go.