Man this sucks, we get eliminated from the tournament again and we still have to do these dumbass interviews?

yeah

Just fucking get on with it already, we all know why you called both these teams here.

Calmados! We’re just here to talk about the tournament.

Trust us, we ain’t happy about getting eliminated either… Right, H?

[…]

Fuck this shit and fuck you especially, you fucking clout chaser.

[SILENCE. I BUST SICK ASS MOVES WHILE YOU THRUST YOUR HIPS AS IF ANY SENTIENT LIFEFORM IN THE UNIVERSE WOULD WANT TO GET WITH YOU.]

Woah woah woah! Let’s cool it down in here. Don’t you guys think it’s about time to make up? You guys used to be so close!

The fuck would you know, you half-gringo?

[…]

Okay, go back to ignoring me, asshole.

Come on now! I don’t think that you two constantly fighting is making Marcianito happy either. Marcianito, would you be willing to team up with Howard again?

yeah

See, Popoy? You and Howard just gotta put aside your differences and make up. You guys made incredible music during the last tournament, even if you guys got eliminated so soon. I think that everyone is willing to give you guys a second chance. Just think about it. You guys have the power to bring happiness to so many people across the globe!

I’m not teaming up again with that fucking asshole over there!

[NEITHER WILL I. I REFUSE.]

You two used to be so close and had so much fun together, like uhh… like in those 3 AM challenge videos! You spooked those guys really good!

yeah

Nah, fuck that.

And what about your time in the first tournament? That time you all danced at the First-Round Losers’ Cypher together? Come on, Popoy! Are you really going to let something like this decide the future of your career? This is your chance to make it big! This is your guys’ chance to steal the spotlight!

[…ADMITTEDLY, TERRORIZING THOSE PRANK CALLERS WAS AMUSING.]

ayy lmao

Just say you’re sorry, guys.

…

Are we really doing this shit…?

yeah

[YES.]

[I AM SORRY.]

…Ah, fuck it. I-I’m sorry too. Let’s just leave this behind. This obviously didn’t work out for any of us either…

[TOGETHER WE WILL SHOW EVERYONE HOW MAGNIFICENT WE ARE.]

That’s right! I believe in you guys, when you’re together, you can do anything!

Aren’t you glad too, that your fr-

I’m sorry H… You know what we have to do, we can’t have the public know about these two aliens here… or you.

WHAT? Are fuckin’ KIDDING me right now?!?!!?!?? You’re really gonna do this? We’ve LITERALLY gone viral now!

yeah

[PLEASE AGENT J, CONSTRAIN YOURSELF.]

This is our job H, sometimes we gotta make tough choices for the safety of the public.

Stop! Will!

Will, I might be Mr. Worldwide, but I know that even past our world there are many beings that just want to make music like you and me. Please, Will. Let them go and let them make their music…

*sigh* Aight man… I’ll let you guys go. Once this tournament is over, you three can go and do whatever you like. Just… please try to make sure I don’t run into you guys while I’m doing my job. And don’t tell anyone about this, ya hear?

Will, I’ve been around the world, so trust me when I say that there’s only a few universal languages. I believe song and dance are two of those.

I guess it’s settled then. After the tournament, we’ll all join back up and form the Dancing Alien Team. There’s no way we’re gonna flop again!

[THANK YOU, AGENT J. FOR EVERYTHING]

It’s a’ight…

[IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE.]

yeah