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What is KFAD?*Popoy is wandering around outside the Gaylord mumbling to himself.*
This pinche stupid fucked up shit is fucked up my ass. Puta madre, where does a motherfucker get some coochie around here, or some fucking boogie woogie god damn. This place is stupid. Stupid pendejadas stupid stupid puterias stupid stupid stupid…
It’s a world of laughter
A world of tears
It’s a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There’s so much that we share
That it’s time we’re aware
It’s a small world after all…
(…what the fuck)
There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to everyone
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It’s a small world after all…
(…okay, just gonna back away slowly and hope he doesn’t notice me…oh shit, is that a branch? No…don’t…touch…)
Hmm?? What was that?
(… God damn it…)
…Oh, it’s you.
…
Did you also come to look at the stars?
Fuck no.
Hm. How strange…that fate would bring us together…on today of all days…
(oh god oh fuck is this motherfucker gonna get all emotional)
Do you know the song I was just singing?
I didn’t hear no song.
You didn’t? Let me sing it for you again –
OH you mean the song you were JUST singing? Ahahahaha… Yeah, no I heard it – I heard it. Don’t sing.
It’s an old song that I’ve grown rather attached to. And a song I’m reminded by every time I look at the stars: “It’s a Small World After All.”
…
I remember when I first heard it. It was on the dark ride at Disney World itself. I was furious, actually. Because of how inaccurate it was. I called it a testimony to human ignorance. One moon? One sun? Bah! Such a vast misunderstanding of the universe…
(fuuuuuuuuck do I really have to sit through this)
But as I spent more time with the company and learned more about its magic, I learned of the song’s true meaning. It’s about acceptance and unification. How we are all of one Earth. Or, more loosely interpreted, all one universe. Which we have a responsibility to protect and maintain. Even if it means making great sacrifices… Did you know on the dark ride at Disney World they sing the song in five different languages? I used to look up at the stars and think: “Bah! What do these earthlings know. Their Earth IS small. It is nothing compared to the vastness of the universe.” But now I look up at the stars and think of how wrong I once was. Yes. The Earth is small. But so is the universe. It is a small, but full universe. A universe that must be balanced in order to survive. Full of smiles, and laughter, and tears, and fears… and so much that we all share. It’s beautiful.
(FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)
…did you know today is his birthday? Walt Disney himself?
(I need to find a way out of this…)
And on today of all days…I lost to a monkey. A degenerate offspring of the human species. Humiliating, is it not? To lose to a being so unremarkable? But I must commend them for their victory. They are obviously stronger than I. So I have chosen to admit defeat gracefully. I even considered eating a banana in his honor tonight, as a way to send him off on a successful victory on his battle against the corrupted one. But alas…I could not find one.
Wait, did you say you were looking for a banana?
Correct.
Did you try CVS?
…What is… CVS.
Wha- you’ve been on Earth how long? God damn. It’s like literally right over there. I think they have like a fresh fruit section.
…Well. It seems that my path is clear then.
I must travel to this… CVS… to obtain a banana.
Okay, good luck with that amigo. I’m outta here.
No. Stay with me. You must show me the way to CVS.
Come the fuck on, it’s literally right there.
Where?
… Okay just – walk down this street here and look for a building with some red letters on it. That’s CVS. They’ll have your banana.
Over there…?
Yes, it’s literally right there. Now I gotta get –
You are wrong.
What?!
The red letters on that building do not say “CVS”. It says Cadillac Ranch.
Motherfucker, I’m not talking about that building! It’s a different building.
On the other side of the street?
I don’t fuckin’ remember, just go that way and you’ll find it!
Those letters do not spell out CVS.
YES IT DOES.
No. It spells out CR.
WHAT THE FUCK IS CR.
It’s on the buildings over there.
…BITCH YOU CAN’T SEE CVS FROM HERE YOU HAVE TO WALK THERE.
Down the street?
YES.
How far?
I DON’T FUCKING REMEMBER, JUST WALK DOWN THAT WAY UNTIL YOU SEE A CVS.
This street here, or that one?
THE STREET THAT IS LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
My child, there are many streets here.
Okay, hijo, you see this street?
Yes.
I’m pointing to it.
I see the street.
IT’S THIS FUCKING STREET.
I see, yes, thank you.
So, we good now?
What side of the street will it be on?
GOD DAMMIT I’LL JUST FUCKING SHOW YOU.
WHY DID THE MONKEY HAVE TO BUY ALL OF THE BANANAS?!?! FUCK!!!!
Hmm… it appears we will have to find a banana else-
No, FUCK this shit. I am NOT helping you find a banana. Fuck off, loser.