Monokuma Theater


Monokuma

So here’s the deal, you two- I’M going to broadcast this live, all across the world, so that everyone can see me- and YOU aren’t going to speak until I’m done, got it? If you cut me off, I’m going to be reaaaallly angry, and you don’t want to see me when I’m angry!!

Meowth

You’ve been bugging me for SO LONG about doing this- so you know what? Fine. Just don’t take too long, so we can get back to scheduled programming.

Monokuma

Oh, I promise I won’t take up toooo much of your time, puhuhuhu…

Meowth

Go ahead. I’ll be over here when you’re done.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

the staeg is youres monokuna

Monokuma

And here we are! Ahem… SOMEONE START THE MUSIC!

*”Mr. Monokuma’s Lesson” starts playing from a hidden speaker in the recording studio.*
Monokuma

As long as you’re following this tournament, there will always come a point where you wish that something different happened.

Monokuma

Whether they were a 1st, or 3rd, or 5th round loss! Sometimes, you just think that someone lost too soon.

Monokuma

All this time you were preparing to vote for them, and then they just up and lost! What gives?

Monokuma

These are the questions that people don’t ask enough! Instead, they just hope that it all works out, and Hope never works!

Monokuma

People should ask questions! People should be informed!

Monokuma

Some people don’t even know what sources go to who, and it’s unacceptable! Some of them don’t even vote responsibly! Sometimes they base their vote off of solely the arrangements, or “story arcs,” or even the art of the characters!

Monokuma

C’mon, I know that the masses love my sleek, “high quality” body, but none of that is responsible voting at all!

Monokuma

See here- I took time out of my VERY busy day to ask my fellow comrades about this issue.

Monokuma

These lame-o’s couldn’t tell me a single thing! It’s preposterous!

Unregistered HyperCam 2

im gonna be reel honenst monobear half of what your saying makes no sense

Monokuma

Hey! What did I say about not talking? Do you want me to summon the mighty spears of Gungnir?!

Unregistered HyperCam 2

uhh i gues s not 0_o

Monokuma

Anyway… I suppose I can’t blame some of them. These source lists can get really confusing sometimes!

Monokuma

Here’s an example: which contestant gets, say… “My Disney Kitchen?”

Monokuma

Does Thanos get it because it’s Disney? Does HOBaRT get it because it’s food related? Do Jack Bros. get it because it’s a game published by Atlus?

Monokuma

Wellllll… who done it? Who gets it, huh, HUH?!

Monokuma

These are some of the questions that people should be asking each other!

Monokuma

It’s your right as a fan to know these things! And if someone doesn’t have a good answer, beat ‘em up! Tie them to a laser trap! Put them inside a stand mixer and crank it up to high, I don’t care! Just demand the truth!

Monokuma

Every human should try and strive for knowing the truth. After all, what’s more full of despair than the cold, hard TRUTH! Kyehahahaha!!!

*The recording suddenly cuts off.*