The Good Doctor – A Day in the Life of Dr. Piccolo

9:00 AM – Gaylord National Nurse’s Office

[ MEDICAL FILE – BIG CHUNGUS / UGANDAN KNUCKLES / CRASH BANDICOOT ]

Big Chungus

Nyehhhh, what’s up doc?

Dr. Piccolo

Please, for the love of god, keep your mouth shut for two seconds you obese rodent.

Big Chungus

Well uh, actually doc, wabbits ain’t exactly rodents ya know, we’re…

Dr. Piccolo

I don’t give a fuck what you are, but you and your idiotic friends here are a medical anomaly of which the likes I’ve never seen. How do you constantly die in such tremendously stupid ways and, without fail, return to life without the assistance of the Dragon Balls?

Big Chungus

It’s a long, long story. Ya see, ever since I was young, I-

Dr. Piccolo

I really don’t have time for this, I have another patient. You and those other simpletons can make your way out.

*Cool Meme Team stumbles out the door, tripping over one another in the process. Ugandan Knuckles walks straight into the wall before redirecting himself out of the doorway.*
Dr. Piccolo

…fucking wackjobs.

__________

11:00 AM – Gaylord National Nurse’s Office

[ MEDICAL FILE – MR. EUGENE H. KRABS ]

Mr. Krabs

Aye, thanks for takin’ me in for a check-up doc. That last contestant scared me right out of me shell! Wanted to make sure me body was as sturdy as ever! Arkarkarkarkark…

Dr. Piccolo

Mm yes, well there’s no sign of any sort of virus… May I take your heart rate?

Mr. Krabs

Go right ahead, bucko!

*Dr. Piccolo takes out his stethoscope and places it on Mr. Krabs’ chest.*
Mr. Krabs

I’m sure you’ll find that me heart is still sizzling like a patty on a grill!

Dr. Piccolo

I’m… not hearing anything?

Mr. Krabs

Oh! Arkarkark, silly me, you probably can’t hear it through me shell. Ah anyway, I think we’ve determined that I’m in the best shape of me life!

Dr. Piccolo

And you feel so… cold. Your shell feels frigid and tough as metal, Eugene. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?

Mr. Krabs

Hey now! What are ye implying? I ain’t no robot, don’t go all loopy on me!

Dr. Piccolo

Where the hell did that come from? I was just going to suggest that you take one of these pills every day for the next couple weeks.

*Piccolo takes out a giant green and purple pill.*
Mr. Krabs

Barnacles, I hate the pill! Ah well, I’ll do what ye say doc. At least this service is free! Arkarkarkarkark!

Dr. Piccolo

Well not quite. Here’s your bill.

Mr. Krabs

WHAT THE SCALLOP?

*Mr. Krabs faints.*
Dr. Piccolo

A doctor’s work is never done, I suppose.

__________

4:00 PM – Gaylord National Nurse’s Office

[ MEDICAL FILE – HYPER OPERATIVE BAKING AND RIPPING TECHNOLOGY – “HOBaRT” ]

Dr. Piccolo

Ah yes, welcome Hobart. I was told that you were transferred back to the hotel earlier this morning. I’m glad to see that you’ve recovered quickly… you really are as durable as they say.

HOBaRT

WHRRRRRrrrrrr…

Dr. Piccolo

You said it. Nobody said losing was easy… especially when so many people are counting on you.

HOBaRT

Dr. Piccolo

Yes, Goku is still deathly sick. Sure, I may have lost my last round to some deranged DJ. But I’m better than just letting myself succumb to my loss and spending my days solving everybody else’s problems!!! … Right?

HOBaRT

…vrrrRRR.

Dr. Piccolo

You’re right… I’m losing it! God, what is everyone going to think of me? Instead of going on there training, I’ve been cooped up in this damn nurse’s office treating these idiots!

HOBaRT

Dr. Piccolo

Er, not you Hobart. You’re strong, you’re determined. Hell, you were decimated twice and here you are, in near perfect condition ready to get right back to work… and here I am distracting myself with these inane check-ups.

HOBaRT

whrrr

*Piccolo sits on the edge of HOBaRT’s bed.*
Dr. Piccolo

I could really learn a thing or two from you huh? I have so much riding on me in this tournament. The life of my own friend, in jeopardy! I can’t let one loss get me down! I’ve gotta be strong! I’ve gotta be durable! I’ve gotta keep on moving! Like a-

HOBaRT

vvRRRRRR

Dr. Piccolo

Like a MIXER! It’s time to face my mistake and take back what’s rightfully mine. I’m getting that crown, and I’m going to save Goku, and I’m going to win this tournament! AND NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME! AHAHAHA!

HOBaRT

Dr. Piccolo

…Alright alright, Hobart. Let’s run a few tests. Have you received your daily dose?