9:00 AM – Gaylord National Nurse’s Office
[ MEDICAL FILE – BIG CHUNGUS / UGANDAN KNUCKLES / CRASH BANDICOOT ]
Nyehhhh, what’s up doc?
Please, for the love of god, keep your mouth shut for two seconds you obese rodent.
Well uh, actually doc, wabbits ain’t exactly rodents ya know, we’re…
I don’t give a fuck what you are, but you and your idiotic friends here are a medical anomaly of which the likes I’ve never seen. How do you constantly die in such tremendously stupid ways and, without fail, return to life without the assistance of the Dragon Balls?
It’s a long, long story. Ya see, ever since I was young, I-
I really don’t have time for this, I have another patient. You and those other simpletons can make your way out.
…fucking wackjobs.
__________
11:00 AM – Gaylord National Nurse’s Office
[ MEDICAL FILE – MR. EUGENE H. KRABS ]
Aye, thanks for takin’ me in for a check-up doc. That last contestant scared me right out of me shell! Wanted to make sure me body was as sturdy as ever! Arkarkarkarkark…
Mm yes, well there’s no sign of any sort of virus… May I take your heart rate?
Go right ahead, bucko!
I’m sure you’ll find that me heart is still sizzling like a patty on a grill!
I’m… not hearing anything?
Oh! Arkarkark, silly me, you probably can’t hear it through me shell. Ah anyway, I think we’ve determined that I’m in the best shape of me life!
And you feel so… cold. Your shell feels frigid and tough as metal, Eugene. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?
Hey now! What are ye implying? I ain’t no robot, don’t go all loopy on me!
Where the hell did that come from? I was just going to suggest that you take one of these pills every day for the next couple weeks.
Barnacles, I hate the pill! Ah well, I’ll do what ye say doc. At least this service is free! Arkarkarkarkark!
Well not quite. Here’s your bill.
WHAT THE SCALLOP?
A doctor’s work is never done, I suppose.
__________
4:00 PM – Gaylord National Nurse’s Office
[ MEDICAL FILE – HYPER OPERATIVE BAKING AND RIPPING TECHNOLOGY – “HOBaRT” ]
Ah yes, welcome Hobart. I was told that you were transferred back to the hotel earlier this morning. I’m glad to see that you’ve recovered quickly… you really are as durable as they say.
WHRRRRRrrrrrr…
You said it. Nobody said losing was easy… especially when so many people are counting on you.
…
Yes, Goku is still deathly sick. Sure, I may have lost my last round to some deranged DJ. But I’m better than just letting myself succumb to my loss and spending my days solving everybody else’s problems!!! … Right?
…vrrrRRR.
You’re right… I’m losing it! God, what is everyone going to think of me? Instead of going on there training, I’ve been cooped up in this damn nurse’s office treating these idiots!
…
Er, not you Hobart. You’re strong, you’re determined. Hell, you were decimated twice and here you are, in near perfect condition ready to get right back to work… and here I am distracting myself with these inane check-ups.
whrrr
I could really learn a thing or two from you huh? I have so much riding on me in this tournament. The life of my own friend, in jeopardy! I can’t let one loss get me down! I’ve gotta be strong! I’ve gotta be durable! I’ve gotta keep on moving! Like a-
vvRRRRRR
Like a MIXER! It’s time to face my mistake and take back what’s rightfully mine. I’m getting that crown, and I’m going to save Goku, and I’m going to win this tournament! AND NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME! AHAHAHA!
…
…Alright alright, Hobart. Let’s run a few tests. Have you received your daily dose?