You Don’t Know Jack


*The Jack Bros. are walking down the hall after their loss to see Jack comforting Elmo.*
Jack Black

H-hey! C’mon now, Elmo. We did great together, and that’s something to be proud of!

Elmo

B-but Jack… We didn’t win…

Jack Black

It doesn’t matter if we won or not, all that matters is if we had fun together, right? The fiery heart of a champion can’t be quenched by a failure or an embarrassment!

Elmo

But… but…

*Jack Frost and Mothman walk up to them.*
Jack Frost

Hee-hey, there’s no need to be sad, ho!

Jack Black

Aw man, you guys again? For the last time, if you ever try to go after Elmo again I’ll-

Elmo

Oh, oh!

*Elmo looks at Mothman.*
Mothman

Me know how to make you happy again.

*Mothman lowers his head, Elmo grabs Mothman’s antenna and climbs on top!*
Jack Black

What, Elmo?! Get down from there!

*As soon as Jack tries to grab his trusty stop sign, Mothman and Elmo take off and start flying down the hall!!*
Jack Black

Elmo!

*Jack looks over at Jack Frost.*
Jack Black

You little-

Jack Frost

W-wait! Don’t hit m-hee, ho! Look over there, Hee-ho!

*Mothman and Elmo turn around and start flying back. Mothman lands.*
Elmo

Hahahaha! Thank you for cheering Elmo up, Mr. Moth!

Jack Black

Huh? Why did you bring him back? And why did it look like you guys have… done this before?

*Mothman and Elmo stare at each other.*
Jack Black

Alright, spill it you two! Obviously there’s something going on here!

Mothman

Speak, small demon.

Elmo

Uh… Mr. Jack… Elmo has something that he needs to tell you… Elmo has been meeting up with Mr. Moth in secret…

Jack Black

Y-you WHAT?? Oh no… Elmo, what have they done to you? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!

Jack Frost

You lied all those times you said you were gonna st-hee-l some more stuff for us, ho?!

Mothman

Show them… Show them what me teach you.

Elmo

Elmo is very sorry, Mr. Jack.

Jack Black

E-ELMO? ELMO! NOOOOOO!

*Elmo starts doing the worm.*
Jack Black

H-HE TAUGHT YOU… Mediocre dance moves?

Mothman

Elmo is dancing furiously!

Elmo

Hahahaha! And Elmo knows that sharing is caring! So, Elmo taught Mr. Moth something in return too!

Mothman

Me am smart now. Watch and learn. One, two, three, four, five…

Elmo

You can do it Mr. Moth, Elmo believes in you! Oh, and remember what the Count told you!

Mothman

Six macca, ah ah ah… Seven… macca… ah…

*Mothman starts drooling.*
Elmo

And?

Mothman

… Me do not know.

Jack Frost

So close, hee-ho… Mayb-hee if we could find something that could help him.

*Jack Black lets out a long sigh before pulling out his stop sign again.*
Mothman

ME FACE!!

Jack Black

No, no, chill out bro. There’s no need to be afraid, just sit down and take a look at this!

*They all huddle around the stop sign and watch closely.*
Jack Black

Do you know many glorious sides this stop sign has? Here, let’s count them together! One, two, three, four, five… six… seven…

Elmo

You can do it!

Mothman

…Oh, me know! EIGHT!

Jack Black

That’s right, the stop sign has eight awesome angles!

Mothman

Then, after eight… Nine… TEN!

Elmo

You did it! Elmo is so proud of you!

*Elmo hugs Mothman.*
Jack Black

You guys seem to really like each other. But, why would you guys keep it a secret from me?

Elmo

Elmo thought you would be angry and hit Mr. Moth again!

Jack Black

Elmo! I was only trying to protect you, little buddy. They tried stealing you in the middle of the night! I didn’t know they just wanted to be friends!

Jack Frost

That was a misunderstanding, hee-ho… We’re sorr-hee, ho… But my hee-homie didn’t tell me anything either!

Mothman

Me was embahhg… Emba…

Elmo

Embarrassed?

Mothman

Yes.

Jack Frost

Ohh, you don’t need to feel embarrassed, budd-hee! You know you’re my best friend!

Mothman

Woo!

*Mothman starts dancing.*
Elmo

Elmo has a question for Mr. Other Jack now. Elmo hear that you chose to bring Mr. Moth with you instead of your real brothers, why did you do that?

Jack Frost

I said before that it’s because I didn’t want to walk ever-hee-where, but… Look at him, ho! Hee’s having so much fun! My brothers and I do so much stuff together, but my hee-homie deserves a place in the spotlight too!

Elmo

That’s very sweet of you Mr. Other Jack! Mr. Moth reminds me a bit of Cookie Monster, hahahaha!

Jack Black

You know what? I think I’ll forgive you dudes. We both lost after all, and us Jacks oughta look out for one another, y’know? Now, let’s cheer on those remaining contestants and see who gets their hands on that Crown of Destiny!

Jack Black

I- Uh… I should also probably call Cage and apologize too… But not before I show this moth that the real king of dance here is the one and only Jablinski!

*Jack Black starts dancing too!*
Elmo

Today Elmo learned that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose at something, as long as you have fun! Hahahaha!

*Jack Frost and Elmo start dancing too!*
Jack Frost

Heeeee-hoooo!!

*Phoenix Wright comes walking around the corner.*
Phoenix Wright

Hm…? (For people who just lost, they sure seem to be taking it well.)