Glitch Machine – Missingno, Daft Punk and Pharrell Interview

Guy‑Manuel de Homem‑Christo

Hé, Thomas, tu sais pourquoi Miaouss nous a donné rendez-vous à la cuisine pour l’interview ? Ce n’est pas le mixeur qu’on affronte…

Thomas Bangalter

Aucune idée. Je sais qu’on affronte ce MissingNo. dont tout le monde parle, mais je ne sais pas pourquoi il veut nous rencontrer à la cuisine… La meilleure chose à faire, c’est d’y aller, après on verra…

*The robots enter the kitchen.*
HOBaRT

WRRRRRRRR!

Thomas Bangalter

Hi, HOBaRT!

HOBaRT

Wrrrrrrrr…

Thomas Bangalter

Alright, uh… how’s it goin’?

HOBaRT

Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr wrrrrrrrrrrrr WRRRRRRRRRRRRR ‘N I CAN’T UNDERSTAND FRENCH- ah, there we go.

Thomas Bangalter

What the- You can talk? How did this happen?

HOBaRT

Ah, that’s nothin’. It’s all thanks to my good ol’ cookin’ buddy! He was just a bit slow to start.

Thomas Bangalter

Huh? But… who are you talking about?

HOBaRT

I’ll show ya. C’mon mate, can’t you see your next opponents are here? The grey bot is askin’ for ya. You should show up, ya know?

???

B… But the interviewers haven’t arrived…

HOBaRT

Doesn’t prevent ya from makin’ some friends! Didn’ya talk to this blond mate’s buddies? You’ll never be able to get comfy with someone if ya don’t try. C’mon out!

*Pharrell arrives.*
Thomas Bangalter

Hey Pharrell! Hope you’re doin’ well. Have you seen the MissingNo. dude?

Pharrell Williams

HELLO. IT’S ME.

Thomas Bangalter

Well, of course it’s you! I’m just asking if you spotted MissingNo.

Pharrell Williams

WELL… ERM…

Guy‑Manuel de Homem‑Christo

…Pharrell ? Tout va bien ?

*Meowth, Hypercam and Pharrell rush in the kitchen.*
Unregistered HyperCam 2

eyyyyyyy!1 theyyr heer!

Meowth

Phew! Sorry everyone, we’re late! Happily, we found Pharrell on the way to the kitchen.

HOBaRT

‘ey, mate! Ya comin’ at the perfect time! Look at ya guests!

Meowth

Oh yes, the robots arrived! And what about-

Pharrell Williams

… Wait a second. Wh-

Meowth

W-What? How are there two Pharrells?

Unregistered HyperCam 2

miss1ngn0 y r u glitchh1n teh tournnamnet. jk only rick trolling U

Thomas Bangalter

Wait a minute, who’s the real Pharrell?

Pharrell Williams

Well, I am! But why is there a second me right there? If you’re me, who am I?

Pharrell Williams

…OH NO… I’M SORRY…

Unregistered HyperCam 2

epic 0ld spic3

HOBaRT

Hahaha, MissingMate, you cheeky bugger! That was a fine prank you pulled on those two! They never saw it comin’!

Thomas Bangalter

A… prank?

Pharrell Williams

I DON’T WANT TO PRANK ANYONE…

Pharrell Williams

Wait a second. Don’t tell me you’re… MissingNo? Just… disguised as me?

HOBaRT

Well, I thought he grew over that old disguise thing, but I s’pose not.

Pharrell Williams

…YES, IT’S ME. HELLO EVERYONE… SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE…

Thomas Bangalter

It’s fine! I just hope Meowth will be able to tell who’s the real Pharrell…

Pharrell Williams

Sounds like fun to me! Hey Meowth, what do you want to ask?

Meowth

Uhhh… Oh right, the questions! Sorry, this is so unprofessional, I’m still… Uh, trying to grasp what’s happening here. Anyways, congratulations for getting so far in the tournament, Ph- I mean, MissingNo!

Pharrell Williams

…THANK YOU.

Meowth

As for you, Daft Punk, I suppose you could say your journey in winners has ended with a funky bang yesterday?

Thomas Bangalter

Yeah. K was a piece of work. But we had fun battling each other! So many samples, so much funk… I think that even if we lost, that was the most fun I’ve had in the tournament so far!

Pharrell Williams

Yeah, that was more of a Daft Punk fight, to be honest. I took the backseat and let the bots do most of the work. They’re way more experienced than me in that kind of stuff. But I danced the night away for sure!

Meowth

I see! What about you, erm, MissingNo? Your fight with the Rhythm Masters was quite close, but you ended up winning with a tight margin!

Pharrell Williams

…WELL, I WON, SO… I’D SAY IT WENT WELL. BUT I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL A BIT… NO, NEVERMIND – I’M HAPPY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y

Pharrell Williams

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof!

Pharrell Williams

BECAUSE I’M HAPPY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y

Pharrell Williams

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you!

Meowth

No, please don’t break into song! I already have trouble differentiating who’s who…

Pharrell Williams

SORRY… I REALLY LIKE THAT SONG…

Pharrell Williams

Hey, I’ve never gotten to sing with myself before! How neat is that?

HOBaRT

That cheeky MissingNo, just wantin’ to get that perfect disguise, I’m tellin’ ya!

Pharrell Williams

YES… I WANT TO BE… AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM MY TRUE FORM…

Meowth

Erggh… whatever you say. But so, dear contestants, how do you envision your battle with each other now?

Thomas Bangalter

It’s gonna be interesting for sure! We’ll have to switch gears on our side. Last fight we went with the funk and the samples, but this time, I guess we’ll have to dust our old tunes full of good repetition. After all, some glitches are all about that too!

Pharrell Williams

It feels a bit weird to know that if we lose now, we’re gonna drop out of the tournament… But that motivates me even more to fight harder!

*Guy-Man slaps Thomas.*
Thomas Bangalter

Ohhh, allez Guy-Man, c’était une blague…

Pharrell Williams

I JUST HOPE… EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT FINE… I’M ALWAYS WORRIED… SOMETHING TERRIBLE WILL HAPPEN BECAUSE OF ME…

Pharrell Williams

If you stay like that, I’ll love it! It’ll be the first time I’ll fight myself!

Pharrell Williams

I’M FIGHTING MYSELF CONSTANTLY… TO AVOID RIPPING YOUR ARMS OUT YOUR SOCKETS AND THEN PUTTING THEM IN A BLENDER.

Pharrell Williams

Uh… don’t worry dude, uhhh… I guess you’re killing it! Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here!

Meowth

Wait, I am confused! Who told what? With these two Pharrells, I can’t keep track of who’s saying anything!

Unregistered HyperCam 2

u shouldd wath moar spedruns, meow, thy havve phantomms & all dat!

Meowth

Okay, I’m sorry, but if I want to have a clear picture, I will have to differentiate between you two. MissingNo, please do something to not look like Pharrell, I beg of you.

Pharrell Williams

OH… I’M SORRY… I SHOULD HAVE PICKED SOMEONE ELSE.

HOBaRT

Naaaaah mate, that was hilarious!

*Pharrell morphs into a blur of pixels. Then the blur dissipates.*
「BEAT IT」

HOW IS THIS?…

Pharrell Williams

I… Is that MICHAEL? OH MY GOOOD!

Thomas Bangalter

Wait, aren’t you that weird guy’s… weird companion?

「BEAT IT」

I… I DON’T KNOW.

Meowth

Well at least I know what 「BEAT IT」would sound like if he said something else apart from “Shamone”, “Hee Hee” and that ear-piercing scream…

Unregistered HyperCam 2

now dats wht i call a sc00p rit3 ther,, ep1c style. & h0bart talks !1!1!!!

HOBaRT

Well, I don’t think that last one’s a secret at this point…

Meowth

Okay so last question Michael, erm sorry, MissingNo. Since this is the first time I can actually have a proper interview with you, I wanted to ask you how you were feeling in the tournament so far? Not too weirded out, I hope?

「BEAT IT」

… IT’S BEEN… DIFFICULT. I DON’T KNOW IF… OTHER CONTESTANTS CAN STILL HANDLE ME…

Thomas Bangalter

Didn’t some other contestants already see you? I don’t think we would be shocked by your “true form” as you call it. Right, guys?

「BEAT IT」

…YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THIS.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

u totaly wantt to do dis!!

HOBaRT

It’s not a big deal, mate.

Pharrell Williams

I’m still a bit creeped out, but I could handle it!

「BEAT IT」

… IF YOU ALL INSIST…

*「BEAT IT」 starts to morph. This time, the blur of pixel gets darker and darker. Then, the horrible mess of pixels and creatures appears in front of everyone.*
Thomas Bangalter

So that is how you really look… I have to admit, you’re a bit… scary.

MissingNo.

… This is just how I look. You have no idea… about what I can do…

Pharrell Williams

Well, you can transform into Michael. That’s all I need to know!

Thomas Bangalter

And we’ll see what you’re able to do… when we fight together!

MissingNo.

I AM GOING TO SMASH YOUR HELMET. PREPARE FOR AN INSTANT CRUSH!

Thomas Bangalter

WHAT THE-

Meowth

GUY-MAN?

Thomas Bangalter

GUY-MAN ! QU’EST CE QU’IL SE PASSE ?

Guy‑Manuel de Homem‑Christo

Hein ? Mais… rien ! Pourquoi tu paniques ?

Thomas Bangalter

Ton… ton casque ! Il est complètement buggé ! Miaouss, call a doctor for God’s sake!

Meowth

Did you just call me… Meeaooss? But I… Okay, I’ll call someone up right away!

MissingNo.

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

*MissingNo. flees on the other side of the kitchen. Guy-Man’s helmet goes back to normal.*
Guy‑Manuel de Homem‑Christo

… Ben quoi ? Pourquoi vous me regardez avec cet air ahuri ?

MissingNo.

… I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!

HOBaRT

Oi, MissingNo! Dude’s alright. Just… stay on this side of the room for now, kay?

MissingNo.

Alright… Sorry for having cut the interview short like this… Good luck to you!

Thomas Bangalter

Thanks, MissingNo, good luck as well! And… Don’t worry too much, everything’s alright. Plus de peur que de mal, as we say in French…

Guy‑Manuel de Homem‑Christo

*shrugs* J’ai toujours rien compris au délire, mais bon…

Pharrell Williams

Jeez… I just hope that with that thing, nothing will happen to my hat.

Unregistered HyperCam 2

miss1ngn0 U shud chang3 phar3lls hat in2 a min1on :) plzzzzzzzzz

Meowth

… I swear I never catch a break for these interviews.

HOBaRT

Awww, why so blue, cat? Here, lemme cook somethin’ to warm you up.

Pharrell Williams

Oh yeah, that’s right! We have the mixer here! Could I have a taste of some gourmet food, please? I need ideas for my partnership brand.

HOBaRT

Name it, get it! Prepare to be floured! WRRRRRRRRRRR!

MissingNo.

… Don’t be surprised if you start puking up blood and scrap metal…

MissingNo.

… Nevermind.