Poison Jam vs Rapid 99

DJ Professor K

Alright folks, time to cut to commercial. Hey, even a pirate radio station needs to make money somehow! We’ll be right back!

DJ Professor K

I’ght y’all! Mic’s off- hm?

*K checks a buzz coming from his pocket, taking out an old flip-phone and checking it*

DJ Professor K

Aw nice, hey Corn! Be on the lookout for me, we got another gang that’s aboudda be here.

Sounds good to me.

…So, as I was saying before K went to the mic, Poison Jam is not just simply a group of nobodies. We have a strong belief in ourselves; we’re nobodies and we own it. Every single member has been discarded by the world, shunned from the streets of Tokyo-To for one reason or another, and together we form a bond stronger than that of any other ga-


BRO, I cracked one joke, lay off with the lecture ok? I don’t give a flip about ‘cho cult.


Yeah, yo. Gonna put me to sleep even with these bangers blasting out the radio.

Hah! I don’t run no cult. Don’t listen to Voxxel over there, he and his lot of bros back home are wound too tight.

Gh, fine then. Forgive me, Lady Cube.

Maan, I wouldn’t be surprised if I opened up yo brain and found some sorta Poison bible. Is it true your spit can melt through metal?

Can it, Pyxel! Ignore him, please. He’s a relatively new recruit, and is clearly inexperienced in the Jam.

Hm, I wonder when that gang K mentioned’s gonna show?

*Then, as if on cue, the door is swung open and a gang skates in. Corn looks them over and signals with a thumbs up that they’re good to be here.*

Rapid 99 is finally here!

This room looks so much prettier now that we’re in it, right Nine?

Don’t forget brighter, Nina. We light everywhere we go up like the night sky!

U-uhm, I’m here too. Hello, everyone, I-I’m Nana…

Right, isn’t my little sister just so adorable?

She really highlights your beauty, Nine!

Now, where’s the Professor? I have a song requ–

…Sup, Nine. How’s it hangin?

-!! You…

*Cube and Nine glare daggers at each other, fight in their eyes.*

So, Rapid 99, it seems we all meet again.

And closer than I would have liked.

Pee-yew, I can smell them from here, Nine.

Ay yo, ain’t this yo old crowd, Ms. Cube?

I’ve told you about this before, boy. Lady Cube used to lead Rapid 99, until she couldn’t take Nine’s idiocracy and split up from them. That’s when she came to guide us as our leader.

Ooh, damn.

*Cube and Nine don’t break eyes for even a second, unmoving as their teeth and fists grip with anger.*

All work and no fun, Nine cares more about the amount of turf more than anything else. That’s no way to live. One must take pride in the graffiti and the gang, yet she only cares to show off and highlight herself.

Hmph. What’s even the point of having turf if you just let it get overtaken in a few days? Let up for even a moment and everything you know will be gone.

Yeah, what she said!

Turf is useless if you don’t love it. Poison Jam knows that, we own our home and love every inch of it.

(Man, they’re really going at it huh. They sure put the rude in rudies…)

(Oh dear, I h-hope there isn’t a fight… I just like to paint, I-I’m no fan of these skirmishes…)

Oh, please. What’s there to love about that disgusting pipe jungle you call a home?

Hey! Poison Jam has chosen the sewers because it represents us as a collective. We’ve come together as nobodies, and together we expand out and beyond all of Tokyo-To! I’d take the sewers over 99th Street any day, at least we don’t hide ourselves behind some bright lights and fancy statues to pretend we look good.

Puh-lease! Who in their right mind would take the sewage over warm open air? Way better than being some big, gross group of degenerates that call themselves a “family.”

Uhm, can we.. uh, please stop… (uhm…)

Yeah hey cut it out you two! This isn’t the place to be doing thi-

Oh hey! Look at miss high-and-mighty Nine over here! I find it pretty impressive that you can look down on us with your soulless graffiti! You flex your pretty faces but those phony getups are scarier than we’ll ever be.

Need I remind you that you picked out our style yourself? Your ragtag group of snake spit claims that they’re the pieces of junk society threw away, but you’re the one who threw yourself away! Oh, but don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m more than happy to take out the trash!

*The old rivals approach each other with their fists out, ready to strike! But, before either of them lay a hand on eachother…*



*The girls are on the floor, taken out by 2 quick strikes.*

DJ Professor K

Alright, that’s enough of that! That was ol-man K’s patent-pending Jet Set Striker Chop, AKA the Rokkaku Killer (which is only lethal to the one man.) Now, what seems to be the problem causing two rudies to wanna throw hands at the Jet Set Radio?

Th-this bitch thinks she owns the world.

Owie… hey, who are you calling bitch?! You’re th-

DJ Professor K

Alright, no more name-calling. I don’t know if you two girls know this but you’re at the JSR HQ, you’re on MY turf now.

DJ Professor K

I’ll admit it. I eat this stuff up! I love broadcasting the juiciest drama and the hottest rivalries! But here and now? Not the place for it. Here, you’re both nothing but rudies, and I expect you to get along.

DJ Professor K

Settling things with your fists just ain’t the way to do it! If this problem hasn’t and can’t be solved by some taggers tag or anything, then that leaves one option: to talk it out. If I got this straight, Cube and Nine had a disagreement on how to run the gang, and now y’all split up?



DJ Professor K

Do you know why this town is called Tokyo-to? It’s because this is the Tokyo of to-morrow! We’re not bound by the mistakes of yesterday and those who came before us. We look to the FUTURE and paint our own path! Or that’s what I’ve been led to believe by you guys. There’s a constant turf war going on outside, hell, even now! But look here! We got the GGs, Poison Jam, and Rapid 99 in the house and it’s still standing! I’d like to keep it that way, so won’t the both of you sweep the dirt you have on each other under the rug and apologize so I don’t have to pull out more moves waiting on their patents?

Gh, fine. Nine, I’m sorry I left on bad blood. I should have discussed my problems before leaving instead of just putting on my skates and hitting the road.

I’m… sorry for holding a grudge and never letting up. I should have… Gah what’s the point K! Just kick us out, this is SO embarrassing!

*K gives Nine a harsh squinting look*

…I should have tried to understand your side and why you left and come to terms with it rather than taking it out on your new friends.

DJ Professor K

Thaaat’s what I like to hear! Now, girls, hug it out.

What?! Professor you’re going too far with this! We apologized and made up!

Yeah, K! We aren’t 7 years old!

DJ Professor K

Hahhaa! See how easy it was to get you two on the same side on somethin’? Now, hug it out.

*K readies his hands for more chops, and the girls reluctantly hug.*

DJ Professor K

There we go. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Papa K has a radio to attend to.

*K goes back to his station and readies for the next track*

Hmph! I can’t believe that old geezer.

Look Cube. I still hate your guts for what you did. I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you yet, either. But…I’m willing to try and forget about it while we’re here at K’s place. …Truce?

Heh, I can say the same about you. And yeah, sure, truce for now. Just don’t be surprised if later on you see some Poison Jam tags around 99th Street, or even on your backs!

You have my full support, Lady Cube. We’ll lay our fangs in anything you tell us to, just say the word.

Man, I’ve been a part of the Jam for only like 2 months and I still haven’t found any room to breathe…

I’ve lived with Nine my w-whole life, and I sometimes wonder if I, uh, I’ll ever hear the end of it, haha.

Hah, sounds about right. yo. Honestly, I’m like Ms. Cube, don’t really buy into all the serious stuff and just kinda ignore it.

Alright, now to go make K play the song I wanted him to.

If he doesn’t then we’re out of here!

*Nine and Nina go to argue with K about playing a song for themselves. Cube decides to go hit the dance floor, Voxxel returns to lecturing Beat and Yoyo on Poison Jam, and Pyxle sits down with Nana to continue their conversation.*