Understand the Concept of Despair



*DJ Professor K is chilling outside the Gaylord enjoying a large strawberry fruit smoothie. He’s listening to bangers on his ol’ pair of headphones, bopping his head to the music.*

DJ Professor K

Bum ch-bum – bum – bum…

*Suddenly Monokuma appears. Professor K takes off his headphones.*
DJ Professor K

Well look who it is! Sup, bear.

DJ Professor K

…everything cool with you?

*Monokuma gives Professor K a devilish smirk, saying nothing*
DJ Professor K

…Somethin’ on your mind? Spill the beans.

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Party’s Over… ~ A Heart-To-Heart with Off the Hook


*Pearl is lying on a bean bag chair in the dressing room face-down. Marina walks in.*
Marina

Knock knock…

Pearl

[muffled] What do you waaant…

Marina

Just wanted to check in. You okay?

Pearl

[muffled] Nooooooo…

Marina

[sigh] I know, Pearlie… it’s hard for me too. I guess we just lost the following after last time, huh?

Pearl

*Marina kneels by Pearl’s side. Pearl turns over to look at her.*
Marina

You’re honestly starting to worry me. You’re usually never this quiet.

Pearl

…Why even bother? Why do I need to put in the energy to be angry? Why should I put in the energy to do ANYTHING anymore? 2nd place, 32nd place… it’s all the same JUNK! All our efforts up to this point, for what… NOTHING!

Marina

That’s not a healthy way of thinking, Pearlie… Do you have any idea how many people we make happy by just BEING in this tournament?

Pearl

Do you have any idea how many MORE people hate our stinking guts because of everything we’ve done so far? People have been rooting for us to lose this whole time just because we came in 2nd last time! We’re Public Enemy Number One of the tournament, and look where it got us!

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Old Friends Reunite – Nintendo Power and DJ Professor K Reinterview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

hey gys welcom wer gona tlk with teh K man and th N men now

Meowth

(Cam that’s not what they’re…never mind.) Hello! Thanks for coming out again, and congratulations on winning your first matches!

Bill Trinen

Thank you!

Reggie Fils-Aimé

Always a pleasure.

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Mahi Mahi Riding The Bassline



*Mariya sits in the lobby of the Gaylord Hotel lost in thought. She was quite impressed with the music the Jack Bros. had started off with but didn’t expect to be so invested in the match’s results. The defeat wasn’t enough to lower her spirits, but the prospect of facing her next formidable opponent was looming in her mind. A spiky-haired figure makes his way towards Mariya.*
DJ Professor K

Hey, hey! If it ain’t the newest kid on the block!

Mariya Takeuchi

Oh. Why, hello there. I’m afraid we haven’t spoken before?

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JET! SET! RADIOOOOO! – DJ Professor K Interview

Unregistered HyperCam 2

helo everyoen! 2day, we have anothr speshal interveiw just for yuo!!!

Meowth

That’s right! Please welcome the beat-bumpin’, sound-spittin’ master of mayhem himself, DJ Professor K!

DJ Professor K

In the flesh! Thanks for havin’ me here, cool cat!

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DJ Professor K

He’s back, and he’s on the Up-Set Attack! The Professor has re-entered the building, and this time he’s brought his whole crew along for the ride! The Noise Tanks of this competition better watch out, because DJ Professor K is ready to enact his revenge with power grooves that will rock your soul!

  • Sources
  • Rips featuring music from any SEGA game outside of the Sonic and Puyo Puyo series
  • Rips featuring music by or in the style of Hideki Naganuma (includes Sonic Rush)
  • Examples
  • Songs from the Jet Set Radio, Super Monkey Ball, and Sega Rally series
  • Get It 2 Win It, LUV CAN SAVE U, AIN’T NOTHING LIKE A FUNKY BEAT
  • Songs from Daytona USA, Space Channel 5, NiGHTS into Dreams…, Phantasy Star Online
  • Songs from the original Bayonetta, and the Yakuza series and its spinoffs
Illustration: Galacksy (@GaIacksy)