Aaaaaand we’re back with Pitbull and the Aliens!
Nice to meetcha again, Meowth and HyperCam! I would just like to apologize on behalf of my band, Pitbull and the Aliens. We had a talk after the last interview and we promise no funny business will ensue this time.
No need to apologize! We don’t know what a normal interview even is anyway…
yeha dat means al the interviews r epic check em out if u missed som ok ever1 or else u wil mak hypercam sad :(
So, uh, you guys are looking a little down today…
YEEEEEOOO- yeah, morale is a little low today for us. You know what happened. We lost to Snake. We had such an outpouring of support, we thought it was gonna be a piece of cake, especially after a banger like Más Gasolina came out. Who did I make that track with again…? Oh yeah, Cryptrik! What a legend, we should do that again sometime!
(Is he allowed to say that?)
(leme chek) *flips rapidly through a ginormous hardcover guidebook titled “List of NO’s for SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day Tournament”*
Anyway, to put it simply, Snake got real sneaky and had the advantage over us. Fantastic tactician.
I can’t speak for my friends here, but personally I am honored to have been defeated by such a fine challenger. So much respect. Also, did you hear “PLEASURE-TENSION”? It made me feel like I was on a secret spy mission when I was listening to it. Amazing! After we get out of the tournament, I might sample it in my next single…
…you sample everything, don’t you amigo?
How are you guys feeling about your next opponent in the Losers bracket?
Loser… I love that word! MWAH! It makes the victories in life so much sweeter! Yeah, Thanos… he’s pretty scary, but at the same time, this battle’s gonna be kinda cool. It feels like we’re going to be in the next Avengers movie! We’re gonna be movie stars! Call me Captain Worldwide now! Haha, DALE!
Hm, I’ve never watched Avengers…
dont. avengers sux. watch sharkboy and lavagurl insted its muhc betr
Anyway, how are you guys getting prepared for this next battle?
Well, Marcianito and I have been rehearsing our sick one-liners for the fight. Get this: when we first meet him, I’ll make some joke about Chip ‘n’ “Dale”, yeah? Then when we win, Marcianito will make a joke based on this Mexican restaurant commercial that has Thanos in it. Tonight is gonna be epic!
OH MY GOD, BOTH OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Popoy, por favor…
THIS MOTHERFUCKIN’ SHIT RIGHT HERE IS WHY WE LOST!! WE KEEP DICKING AROUND!!! WE CAN’T FUCKIN’ AFFORD TO DO THAT NO MORE! THANOS IS ONE BAD MOTHERFUCKER YO!!! HE GONNA SNAP US! HE’S GONNA MOTHERFUCKIN’ SNAP US, YO!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! …excuse me. Is this really the great Pitbull and his team? Such ignorant, crude weaklings…
Hey! Your interview already happened, like, a LONG time ago! (And way off schedule too! Who puts these together anyway? Geez…) Get out of here!
Pardon my intrusion; I thought it was wise to learn more about my next opponents, the great, almighty, influential Pitbull himself. I thought so highly of you before, but it seems my time is wasted here.
wait hol up mr thanos wats this abot u thinkn highly of pitbul thats not in ur character descriptin. *gasp* r u a pitbul fan
No. I am not. But…
…my daughter…was your biggest fan… Mr. Pérez.
I am no fan of your music, Mr. Pérez, but I am quite familiar with your work. You do not know how many times I have listened to “We Are One (Ola Ola)” while watching over my daughter. Now every time I come across your music, it reminds me of her.
(Okay nevermind, this is getting interesting…)
But I must put my past aside for this encounter between us. You do not stand a chance against me.
A Boomer? I am not a boomer, little one. This “competition” that will partake between us is meaningless. A mere formality. The end result is already determined. However… it need not be so. Allow me to offer you…
…An alternative, Mr. Thanos?
Let us not fight. Join me, Armando Christian Pérez. Allow yourself to become one with the unification of all things. To serve that which knows all and brings balance to the universe. And together, with your influence over these earthlings, with your influence over this universe… we can achieve our goals of globalization and harmony. Together.
(Is this motherfucker serious right now?)
Thanos, what are you doing? You don’t have any authority to change the rules of the tournament!
Hold up. Let me get what you’re asking straight. You want to join up?
It would not just be you and I, but many others as well. Working together in unison to achieve a greatness no other magic can create.
Oh, oh alright, I see where this is going. Yeah nuh-uh.
I’m not signing no Disney contract. I do me. I do not do the mouse. That’s final.
So let’s get one thing straight between you and me. You really have this really great thing going for you. You’re big. I mean, you’re REALLY big. You’re huge. You’re working with one of the most remarkable entertainment companies in the world with a rich history of incredible work. I’d love to be a part of that, but I already have my own setup going for me. I can’t be jumping ship. I have unfinished business to attend to, and I can’t be leaving that behind. But as far as this tournament goes… there’s something important that’s right in your face that you’re missing! Don’t you get it? It’s never about who wins or loses. If it’s destined that I’m going to lose to you, so be it. The world is still gonna keep on turning. And Mr. Worldwide is still gonna make music. And so are you.
So do me a favor and chill it, alright? Besides.
You’re not going to win, anyway.
DANCE BATTLE. DANCE BATTLE RIGHT HERE, MOTHERFUCKER. GET YOUR SHINY ASS OVER HERE AND START PUMPING IT NOW!
NO NO NO NO NO!!! We’re NOT doing this again!
leme chek the book again jus 2 make sur-
aw but i wnt to see moar dancin :(
Okay you know what? I’m stopping this right now, we’re past the time limit again. By the way: this interview is sponsored by GEICO! 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance!