Music
Characters
News
What is KFAD?welcum back every1.. 2day we have anothr vry speshel guest 4 u.
Thaaat’s right! Today we’re talking to someone you all know and love, whether you know him as B-Rabbit, Slim Shady, or just Marshall Mathers… the Rap God himself, Eminem! Come on out Em!
Yo yo yo, it’s great to be here.
It’s uhh… great to have you! Ummmm, what’s with the spiffy outfit?
Didn’t you get the memo? I’ve got new shit comin’ out, gotta rep the brand know what I’m sayin’?
I know what you’re saying! Wanna tell us a little more about that?
Aight well, my fans have been buggin’ me for years to drop this, teased it at the end of “My Band” about… damn has it been 15 years already? Shit’s called “My Salsa”, I’ve been cookin’ it up ever since, just never really felt the world was hungry enough for it y’know? But now’s the time, and I know everyone’s gonna eat it up.
“Cooking it up” huh? Clever wordplay as always, Em!
What are you talkin’ about? I have a jar of salsa right here, some chips too. It’s fuckin’ delicious, I’m tellin’ you. Dig in, it’s on me.
Mmm… Oh man, this is incredible! To our audience out there, don’t you worry, Eminem’s salsa was well worth the wait! (Wew, got quite a burning aftertaste too.)
nom nom nom. wait. wait no i don’t have a mouth nvm, im shure its good tho
Hold onto that jar, this shit’s gonna fly off the shelves. My fans will pay top dollar for anything with my name on it, y’know? I know they’re gonna get me real far in this tournament.
Speaking of which, your first match is up against the mighty ruler of Kongo Bongo, Donkey Kong! Have any words for your opponent?
Yo, did you say Donkey Kong? Man I’ve beat that damn monkey a million times over the years, this is gonna be a piece of fuckin’ cake. Can’t wait to beat my high score once again, tryna crack my previous record of 465,000.
i cant even get past lvl 2 haha
465,000? Wow Eminem, that’s actually really impressive!
Fuck yeah it is, if I had more time on my hands you could bet I’d have the world record. I’m prepared to hop over those barrels, dodge those fireballs, climb those ladders and get some virtual pussy!
Well sorry to break it to you Marshall, but that’s not really how this tournament-
Gonna shove that hammer up his rectum and stamp my initials on his ass like a fuckin’ tramp stamp: MBM. Remember that name, bitches.
Ooooookay well, I also wanted to ask you how you felt about Pitbull and the Aliens! A number of fans have pointed out how both of you provide that spicy latin flair, what puts you a step above the competition?
Easy. My dance moves, my rap skills, years worth of prestigious music awards, my own fuckin’ radio station… do Pitbull and those bitch ass aliens have all that?
Actually, they have all of those things.
Heh, fuck them then.
Anything to say to our other co-
Gonna put that Pitbull down Old Yeller style… one kill shot right up his canine asshole. And those gay little aliens? They better prepare for a world of pain when I chainsaw their alien dicks off, then-
Whoa whoa! Jeez Marshall, what did they ever do to you? (And what’s your obsession with buttholes… c-can we even say that?)
Nah nah don’t worry, I ain’t actually gonna do anything to ‘em, I’m just playin’ it up for the show… y’know what I’m sayin? Like, y’know, when I make fun of gay people, I obviously don’t mean it because I’m-
…You’re what?
Just forget it, pussy. Ha, get it?
lol i get it its because ur a cat meowth. did u get it?
Yeah yeah, very funny. I think we’re about done here. Thank you Eminem, anything else?
Yeah… don’t do drugs.