helo every1! 2day we interviewing the aristokats :3 they r mowths cusins
Hey, buddy… Just cause I look like a cat don’t mean I’m a cat.
Sitting in the studio with us today, we have Shades Dupris, Tom “Milk Bowl” Malone, and sphelonious donk. How are you guys feeling tonight?
Y’know, I could be in the shed right now. But I’m here. And I’m ready to groove.
I’m doin’ just fine, Seuss. Can I call you Seuss?
Man, you’re the cat in the hat!
Hm… no. And how about you, sphelonious? How are you doing tonight?
very insiteful spelosos dong
So you three go to Barkley’s College of SLAM! What is that?
Barkley’s is known for having big names graduate. All of the famous jazzers went there, man.
To be honest, I haven’t seen much of Charles Barkley around at all. But the school is mostly great! The classes are fun, but some of the musicians really suck. Can you fucking believe singer-songwriters?
What I meant was that we’ve never heard of a Barkley’s College of SLAM! Even Google can’t find it. Have you been telling us the truth about how you got here?
helo utub 2day i wil teach u how 2 fake credenshuls & get in2 kfad even if u r a LIAR
I dunno, dude. I got a scholarship for jazz guitar. What credentials do you have, dipshit?
Yeah! You probably couldn’t even find the tonic with a magnifying glass and some gin. Isn’t this tournament supposed to be a music competition?
We go to jazz school. By default, we’re the most talented musicians here. Who else came? A DJ? A crab? Fucking Pitbull? All that shit fucking sucks, man.
OK, OK, I get it. A question submitted by fans for Shades: Why is your name Shades? Is it a nickname or a real name?
Both. That is all I am legally allowed to say.
What the fuck?
I’ll explain later, Milk Bowl.
And a question for Milk Bowl: Why are you such a massive jerk?
What the fuck, Seuss? You better stay in your lane. I bet you can’t even play an instrument, let alone arpeggiate a minor 9 chord as a flex.
It’s the same structure every time, dude. It’s not impressive; it’s just douchey.
augmented triad face
i wil rep0st this NOw!!
For my final question: What do you think about Adam Levine?
If I hear “She Will Be Loved” played one more time at an open mic, I’m going to blow my fucking brains out. That song is ass.
Well, I’ll be here wishin’ ya good luck in the first round. Have a good one, cats!
jazz cats… blasting off again