Y’all know what time it is!
It’s Off the Hook coming at you LIVE fr-
UHH, girls, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I’M supposed to do the intros around here!
Oh, my bad! Heehee!
Well I’m glad to have yas up here either way! As the runner-ups of the first tournament, you must have a LOT of things going through your mind right now!
Oh, you have no idea. It’s been a stressful ride ever since we came so close last time, but we’re not going to let our fans down that easily!
We’ve brushed that off and are back STRONGER THAN EVER!
Well it definitely seems like it! The three of you are looking well up to the challenge this time around! How are ya feeling about the new competition?
What, the new guys? Pfft, c’mon. Total pushovers. I bet you half of them aren’t going to last a day out there.
Pearl! At least show some respect… We’re all here for a reason. They don’t just invite whoever to an event like this!
Oh yeah! Who could forget such well-known figureheads such as… [checks notes] HOBaRT…
Okay, maybe an average stand mixer won’t look like much to you, but I definitely don’t think we should be underestimating the power of kitchen appliances, especially after last time…
Ehhhh, fair point… What about you, P?
…Paruko!
…H-Huh? Wait, did we start already? O-oh… right. Uhhhhh, honestly… I’m kinda looking forward to fighting the new blood. They seem like fun. It’s going to be cool to see what they bring to the table this time.
Well I’m glad you’re excited, Paruko! By the way, what’s with the fancy schmancy new name, if ya don’t mind me asking?
Oh, right… that. Glenna was kind of a stage name I threw together in case my solo career ever took off. I forgot why I picked it specifically, but it’s what I’ve been referred to as until I started to grow more comfortable with having my real name out there.
Oh, I always thought you changed it because you like… killed a guy and changed identities to cover your tracks!
Well that’s certainly an option I’d take if the opportunity comes around.
And how does your band feel about you spending so much time away from ’em?
Uhhmm, y’know… I always imagine they’d like… have my back when it comes to this stuff. Besides, my boys are really good at keeping The Chirpy Chips on track when I’m not around and stuff. I’m generally kind of… slow and out of it, so it’s kinda hard to keep up sometimes.
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I’m sure they’re cheering us on from home back in Inkopolis! After all, isn’t the whole reason you wanted to join us to spread the word about your band?
Well yeah, kinda. Our last performance helped out with that a lot, and we’ve been getting crazy turnouts at our concerts. It… makes me happy, y’know?… and I’m sure it makes them happy too.
How sweet! So, what do you guys have planned if ya manage to score the crown?
We’ve had a lot of ideas, but one thing’s for certain, and it’s that we’re looking to pull out all the stops to give the audience a performance they’ll never forget!
That’s right! We’re fueled and touched by the support of Off the Hook fans around the world, so we want to be able to give back to the fans the best way we can! We’re gonna have a HUGE 24-hour concert throughout our takeover day, featuring some of the best musical talent Inkopolis has to offer! It’s going to be great!
Well I’m sure looking forward to it, and I’m sure your fans couldn’t ask for anything better! Do ya have any closing thoughts for them?
Well, we just want to say, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for all of the support you guys have given us so far. You guys are the reason we keep striving to improve!
Marina’s right! We’re not gettin’ cooked this time! We’re gonna keep our heads held high and KICK SOME ASS for everyone back home! Ain’t that right, Paruko?
…PARUKO!!
…Huh? O-OH right! I just wanted to thank everyone out there who’s giving us this chance in the spotlight! It means a lot to me and my friends, and we’re counting on you guys to show your support! And remember…
DON’T GET COOKED! VOTE OFF THE HOOK!
Fantastic! Well that wraps up all the time we have today, folks! Marina, Pearl, Paruko, I’m wishing you guys the best of luck in your coming rounds!
Thanks for having us, Meowth! Rest assured, as long as we don’t have to see that stupid camera again, I’m sure we’re going to do juuuust fi-
i amn wishing u guise the best of luck, haha dont like lose again or anything :)
COD FUCKING DAMN IT