Me Likey the Boom Boom


Beat

This thing is kick-ass!

Gum

Careful you don’t bust on that grind, dude! This thing’s huge!

Metal Ajit Pai

You goons get off of me this instant! This mecha costs more than your combined yearly salaries!

Beat

Shut up, boomer!

Yoyo

Ha! I get it! Cause he makey the boom-boom when he stomps!

*Beat, Yo-Yo, and Gum are grinding their rollerskates up and down Ajit’s mecha. Ajit tries to shoo them off unsuccessfully. Professor K sees the commotion from a distance and rushes up.*
DJ Professor K

What the hell? Is that who I think- ! What the HELL!?!?!? Y’all got your asses on the wrong continent!!!!

Beat

Hey, it’s the Professor!

Gum

Wow! It’s really him!

Yoyo

Haha, we did it guys! We found him!

*The three GGs hop down next to Professor K in style.*
Beat

Dude! We are SO happy to see your stupid face!

DJ Professor K

Same, dog! But that’s beside the fact, none of y’all are supposed to be here!

Gum

And neither are YOU, fool!

DJ Professor K

Excuse me? You callin’ the Professor a fool now?!

Yoyo

Yeah, fool! What’s your business over here that you gotta be gone for like a whole month? Tokyo-to can’t run without you man!

Beat

Yeah, what the hell dude?

Metal Ajit Pai

You hooligans have damaged my property! I’m going to be sending you a bill!

Gum

Shut up! We’re busy down here!

Yoyo

Go do that Shinji crybaby garbage somewhere else, yo!

DJ Professor K

Man, do you even know what you walkin’ into? This is a music competition, your professor has a tournament to win! You know I’ll be back when I’m done with this shit.

Beat

Oh yeah? Then why’d you leave without telling any of us, huh? What’s the big idea?

Gum

You can’t just drop us like that without saying nuthin’!

DJ Professor K

Are you honkies even listenin’ to the radio?! I announced I was gonna be gone WEEKS in advance!

Beat

Yeah, but you didn’t say you’d be gone THIS LONG! It’s irresponsible!

DJ Professor K

Wait a flippin’ minute. How the hell did you get your sorry asses over here?

Yoyo

We took the bus!

DJ Professor K

Not across the whole damn globe, you didn’t!

Yoyo

Heh, yeah just kiddin’.

Metal Ajit Pai

I need to know your permanent residences STAT or I’m gonna-

DJ Professor K

You shut your ass up before I have these goons come up dere and chuck you out of that dumbass robot!

Beat

Damn, K! You’re slayin’!

DJ Professor K

I’m slayin’ cause this is most disturbing! This ain’t the place to be makin’ no trouble!

Gum

Alright, let’s look at the funk. We’re not just here for the thrills. Tokyo-to needs you back ASAP.

DJ Professor K

Did somethin’ happen?

Yoyo

It’s bad, yo! It’s real bad!

Beat

Yeah, it’s a horrorshow! The city is doomed!

DJ Professor K

What, did Rokkaku drop a bomb on it or somethin’? Come on, give me some specifics!

Yoyo

It’s the radio! You won’t believe what that gooney is playing, yo!

Beat

All he plays is smooth jazz and this weird country music!

Yoyo

He has an entire hour on Wednesdays just for K-POP!

DJ Professor K

What the hell? I thought I got Bob to take over?

Gum

Bob died!

DJ Professor K

BOB DIED!?

Beat

Bob died!

Yoyo

Bob died, yo!!

DJ Professor K

How the funk did Bob die!!?!

Beat

That joker had arrhythmia! He dropped dead during the 7:00 Saturday banger hour!

DJ Professor K

What?! God rest his soul… So hold on, who the heck is managin’ the radio then?

Gum

Eugine!

DJ Professor K

Eugine!?!?!? Man, that suckah’ couldn’t recognize the funk if it hit him in the face! Who gave Eugine the airwaves?

Yoyo

That’s why you gotta come back! Eugine took ‘em and won’t give em up!

Gum

And he won’t stop playin’ that god awful poppycock!

Beat

And that’s not all, this stuff has had way mad lasting consequences!

Yoyo

Yeah, the whole city is messed up now!

DJ Professor K

All whacked up I bet! What’s the situation?

Gum

Nothing is the situation!

DJ Professor K

Nothing is the situation?!

Yoyo

Nothing is the situation, yo! I told you it was bad!

Beat

The city sucks now! You were the only one who was makin’ the interesting stuff roll out, and ain’t none of that happening while you’re here doin’ who knows what!

Gum

Yeah! So come on, we don’t have any time to lose! We gotta get back on the boat before it leaves!

DJ Professor K

A boat? Don’t tell me you-

Yoyo

We got here on a boat, yo! We had to hide in the storage compartments! It was bad, yo!

Beat

Yeah, but it beats lame ol’ Tokyo-to without the K!

DJ Professor K

Are you crazy!? I’m not gonna drop all this and get on some smelly boat, I’m about to win this thing!

Beat

What thing?

DJ Professor K

This music competition!

Gum

Huh? A music competition? That don’t make no sense!

Beat

You’s already the freshest thing out there, what business you got in a music competition? That’s just no contest!

Yoyo

You leave Tokyo-to for THIS? Are you CRAZY, ol’ man?!?!

DJ Professor K

Hey! Professor K may be crazy, but I’m not off my rocker. This is somethin’ I’m doin’ for me!

Beat

But you can’t just leave Tokyo-to hanging like that! The place can’t function without you!

DJ Professor K

Fellas, this professor’s gettin’ old. There’s gonna come a time when your Professor K ain’t gonna be around no more…

Yoyo

Yo, don’t say that! You ain’t dying anytime soon!

DJ Professor K

Are you kidding? Look at this saggy shit on my face, I’m not gonna last much longer! It’s gonna be up to you smart-asses to keep the radio goin’ when I’m not around! Don’t you get that?

Yoyo

Man… We just want you to come back, yo.

DJ Professor K

And I’m gonna, but first I gotta finish up this tournament. Plus, there’s a lotta people here who been having a hard time feelin’ the groove. I’ve been helpin’ out plenty of other folk around these parts, It’s rejuvenating for your ol’ man K! It’s my own personal repair time, I’m living the life and spreading the love all I can so I can be even more fresh back in Tokyo-to. But I can’t go back yet, alright? It’s just not time.

Beat

… Man, then what’d we come here for, huh?

Gum

Yeah, you tellin’ us we sat on a dumb boat for nuthin’? You expecting us to go back empty handed? You’re out of your mind!

DJ Professor K

Hmmm… You know, a wonderful idea just struck my mind. Y’all oughta come with me, there’s some friends of mine you should get to know.

————————-

Pearl

Bet I can beat you to the top!

Yoyo

Oh, heck no you can’t!

Pearl

Yeah, we’ll see, punk!

Beat

Wow, this has a way bigger range than a spray can! Just imagine the tagging you could do with this!

Marina

Hahaha, tagging? What?

Gum

Hold on there. You’re gonna lose a lot of time with the way you’re holding that Game Boy. Let me show you a few tricks.

Paruko

What?!? How are you-

Gum

It’s the way you have your fingers arranged. If you do this instead you can do a double tap WAY easier!

Paruko

Wow…

DJ Professor K

Ah… Now it’s just like home!

*Off The Hook mingles with the GGs for the rest of the evening.*