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What is KFAD?*A conference room in the Gaylord Hotel, before the semifinals.*
Alright everyone, Reggie will be here any second!
Waaaaaah, we already waited here long enough! You still have any donuts for the wait, stinky?
I do not think it is wise to ask this question to Mr. Trinen. It may lead to another circular argument.
Thank you, Geno, but I’ll let it slide for this one. Besides, you already ate them all, Wario.
WHAAAAAT?
Heh! Talk about a guy lovin’ donuts, he can’t even keep his reserves right! What a poor food management decision!
It ain’t easy when you’re eatin’ donuts faster than I even eat my bananas. Here I wuz thinkin’ I was the biggest eater there!
Surely you jestin’! No one in dis here room is eatin’ more than me! I always need a hundred of my Waddle Dees to bring my lunch every day!
Is that a challenge, loser?
Now, now, calm down everyone. Besides, we have no food here. A duel of the stomachs is impossible.
What are you talkin’ about? I have some bun-
I’ll stop you right there, DK. If that is to fill the hotel hall with banana peels all over again, don’t even think about it. That would be worsening our PR image.
I can call Escargoon for him to bring some of my servants to this place, they’re workin’ much more efficiently than those doofuses in that there hotel!
This is a star-ranked hotel you are defiling, noble king.
Yeah! And it’s full of stars! Matinée idols worshipped from afar!
That hotel ain’t worth anythin’ for a superstar warriah like me if it can’t keep the food supply runnin’ for a few days!
That was because of the mixer, idiot! If you wanted food, you had to wake up sooner like we did!
Or ya could hoard some. It’s easier with bananas!
What are ya blabberin’ about? I am Dream Land’s king! I ain’t doin’ the tasks I ordered my subjects to do!
Well, what do I see here? The Super Smash Brothers, or rather Super Bungling Brothers since their pathetic elimination!
Oh, hello, Mr. Robotnik. If you excuse me, this meeting is reserved to the members of Nintendo.
I am not receiving any orders from someone who lost so predictably to my glorious contraptions! In fact, I appear today to laugh at you all!
Oh yeah? Well if you want a laughing contest, here’s one for ya! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
WEHEHEHEHEHE!
HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!
SILENCE!
Wow, man, you claim you laugh, but you can’t take a joke! You’re not one of us, one of us, you mean and-
STOP SINGING THAT STUPID SONG RIGHT NOW! The jokes in this room are all of you! Ahhhh, this is such a wonderful feeling to see those brats from my rival company all riveling in the misery of their own self-importance!
You say dat, but ya lost too, dingus!
But I won in the end, and you know why? Because my partner DJ Professor K is still in the battle while none of you are!
Your partner? Whaddaya mean your “partner”? We never see you together! That ain’t true partnership yer talkin’ about.
If he really was your partner, he would have teamed up with you in battle, just like we have since the last tournament!
He is not my pathetic partner in that sense, you idiots! We are both representing Sega, and he still has a shot at the ultimate prize while none of you do! This is why I am laughing at you: Nintendo is not the number one company in the eyes of people no more!
If I may, doctor, the glitched Pokémon is still running in the tournament.
That thing has not been created by your doing! It was a stupid error, an error my genius intellect would have seen coming from miles! Meanwhile, the Professor is a contestant from Sega in the flesh! Your boss even lost to both of us! Sega finally did what Nintendon’t!
We exist too.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? You talentless insects do not count!
Hey, no n-hee-d to be that rude, ho! We are technicall-hee Sega reps too, ho!
I did not come here to discuss worthless practicalities with you two! Get out of my sight and let me have my satisfying moment, you nincompoops!
Big robot man hurts my feelings.
All these hee’s and you choose to act like the ho. Let’s go, budd-hee.
Now now, doctor, we are not in the Nintendo 64 days anymore. Sega is not a rival to us as it was in the past. In fact, we are good partners now.
WHAT? That means the cartoon wars of the 90s are gone now?
Yes indeed! In fact, you can even buy games starring our respective mascots, like the brand new Mario & Sonic at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games out now on Nintendo Switch systems.
Hey, that’s rad! I should invite you on Kongo Bongo Island to dance and sing along now that we’re pals, Robotnik!
Didn’t ya two cheaters already meet at the Olympics before? Oh wait no, the egg man lost weight back then. But he didn’t get any abs like Waluigi here!
Silence, insolent tall midget! And you all, If you are trying to seduce the grrrrreat Robotnik with promises to bury the hatchet, that won’t work!
Mr. Trinen is right, doctor. There is no need to worry about obsolete rivalries. Unless, as I presume, you must further inflate your already humongous ego.
YOU WOODEN REJECT OF A PUPPET! I would never do something like this!
Oh, that is preferrable. Because the ego level in this room is already pretty high.
HEY! I’m not egoistic, wood guy!
There’s no one in this room who has more ego than me! I actually am better than all of ya in all aspects, even ego! Heh heh heh!
Is that so, birdbrain? Come to Wario, I’ll show ya!
Hey, relax, everyone! Aren’t we all Nintendo friends? This friendship can’t be wrong, can it?
WHY ARE YOU ALL IGNORING ME? WHY? WH-
OW!
Ohhhhh carp carp carp! I’m so sorry!
What is your problem, sniveling little fishface? Are your eyes not big enough to see my sumptuous body?
I’m sorry! I’m just lookin’ for Pearl and Marina! I don’t know where they went.
Paruko, there you are! It’s a good thing Reggie is late! We haven’t seen Pearl or Marina either.
Huh? Oh, right, this is that conference thing! I forgot…
Have you also seen Hakuko by any chance?
The girl in my Game Boy? I saw her back at the bar! But I don’t know where she went either…
Your Game Boy? This is strange, Hakuko is hailing from the Rhythm Heaven games on the Nintendo 3DS family of systems…
Oh come on, are ya stupid? Rhythm Heaven is sold on all Game Boys in Inkopolis! Tell Reggie to catch up with the times and get backwards retrocompatibility on older systems! Then WarioWare games can be played on any system from any time, and I’ll be even more filthy rich! WAHAHA!
Why don’t you make that yourself, you oversized midget? Oh, that is right, you do not have my wonderfully high intelligence to pull such a feat off!
Hey, back off robotnuke! Will you never stop or what?
Oh, I will never stop contemplating you and your misery from having been kicked out in such a humiliating fashion!
You got eliminated by one of ours. Hakuko is a Nintendo character, you know.
Yeah! All of us have been kicked out of the tournament! Why are you still bothering us with that?
Dat’s because he knows deep down he’s DEYD RONG, and he’s just a bigger loser than us all, especially ME!
YOU BUNCH OF WORTHLESS WIMPS! I’ll show you what win looks like! Challenge me to a Gourmet Race, jailbird!
I would if this Bill guy over there had more donuts-
I’m not interested in the food, you moron! I just wanted to show you the mighty power of- AAAAAH!
WHO DARES INFLICTING SUCH AN INSOLENT PAIN TO THE GRRRRREAT DOCTOR RRRRROBOTNIK?
…what the hell is wrong with you.
What’s wrong with ME? HOW DO YOU, WHO LOST SO PATHETICALLY TO MY SUPERIOR SOURCES, DARE STAND UP TO ME?
Doctor, I beg of you, do not provoke our former CEO any further-
A CEO? I AM A BENEVOLENT DICTATOR! I AM MILES ABOVE HIS WEIGHT! AND I WILL NOT LET MYSELF GET HUMILIATED BY ONE WHO CANNOT TAKE A LOSS!
You do not want me to take a step further. I will kick your ass.
DO IT IF YOU D-
IIIII HAAAAATE THAAAAAT TOURNAMEEEEEEEEEENT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE EVERY SINGLE CONTESTANT IN IT! I HATE THEM JUST LIKE I HATE THAT HORRID HEDGEHOG! HOW DARE THEY? I HAAAAATE THEM!
Yo, what’s up Doc? Just like the cool teams say.
YOU!
Yeah, ‘ts me. Hot damn, Doc, you didn’t change a bit. Bursting with so much hot air as usual. We’re complementin’ each other well for Sega reps, don’t we.
I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR STUPID OPINION!
Bold words from someone who contributed so many sick jams to this tourney, huh. Still wonderin’ how you got so many tracks in, despite you just sayin’ you were “hating this tourney”.
WHY DO YOU THINK I RELEASED SO MANY TRACKS? I was in this tournament to WIN IT! There’s nothing that brings me more happiness than seeing the misery of both the opponents I crush and the ones who failed to prove their ruler credentials like I did!
Just sayin’, you already churned so many tracks out, no need to rub it in further. Let the music do the talkin’, not your humiliatin’ bouts! This is coming to you live from your Sega friend.
Aren’t you happy Sega finally did what Nintendidn’t though? We finally overran these complete idiots!
I’m not seein’ it that way, doc. I even sampled some Nintendo works in my catalogue this time around, they’re doin’ fresh things, lemme tell ya. Have you heard what sick stuff those critters at Animal Crossing are dishing out?
Why are you giving them any credit, old geezer? This is unacceptable! I won’t stand for someone supporting our mortal enemies! They claim they are our friends, but they are waiting for the first occasion to backstab us, just like they did back then! You’re a naive fool if you think otherwise!
Are ya callin’ me a fool now? Aw, what happened to the sudden fan I saw in you a few hours ago? Here you were claiming to everyone in this place Sega was back on track and that it made you ecstatic. I’m gonna tell you a secret about ya, Doc. You just don’t wanna admit I’ve been better than you at this tourney thing. Even that blue dude and his flying friend did better than you. And ya know I’m not talkin’ about the hedgehog here.
Grrr…
You don’t wanna stay in my shadow. You wanna go back in the limelight, proving to everyone you’re the best of the bunch. You wanna win the tourney even though you know you lost. That’s why ya released so many fresh cuts! That and the fact Sega music is made of bangers, as both of us know.
YOU GLORIFIED PORCUPINE HEAD! STOP THIS IMPUDENT TOMFOOLERY RIGHT NOW!
Nah, I ain’t gonna stop. And ya know why? Because I wanna help ya. I wanna put ya back in the studio lights. Not only because you’re a part of the Sega family, but ‘cause I’ve been convinced by your stuff. Everyone in this place has potential, but you proved it with your bangers.
Hmmmfff…
C’mon, Doc. “The Sega Masters of the System”, together to show the world what we can do. Matter of fact, I’m workin’ on an ol’ track right now, and I need a feature. It’s a track made of good ol’ YTP bits and Nintendo goodness. It’s gonna be fire, I’m tellin’ ya. And I was considering either you or that cool Reggie guy for it.
That insolent junk pile? I’d rather do anything than give him any more spotlight! I just want to show that incompetent fool what I’m made of! If that’s what I can do by joining your stupid track, then consider me in!
Then it’s settled. Let’s meet at the studio tomorrow. It’s gonna be huge! If my radio pals were there to hear the cut, they’d drop on the floor.
Who cares? We never fought during this tournament, but I’m better than you, and I’ll prove it to your face! Tomorrow I’ll START!
Boy, I can’t wait for ya to show me what you got, Doc.