I APPEAR TODAY TO MAKE A HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT. HAKUKO IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER. SHE PISSED ON MY FUCKING HUSBAND. THAT’S RIGHT, SHE TOOK HER HUMAN FUCKING CIRCULAR PINDES OUT AND SHE PISSED ON MY FUCKING HUSBAND. AND SHE SAID HER PENGAUSE WAS “this big” AND I SAID “THAT’S UNCALLED FOR” SO I’M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MOJO DOT HIGHQUALITY DOT RIP. HAKUKO, YOU GOT A SMALL PEANDUZ, IT’S THE SIZE OF THIS PRRRRROMOTION MEDAL EXCEPT WAY SMALLER. AND GUESS WHAT? HERE’S WHAT MY PINGAS LOOKS LIKE! THAT’S RIGHT BABY, ALL USUAL, NO BEATS, NO MISSES. LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE TWO HAIRBALLS AND A BONGO. SHE FUCKED MY HUSBAND, SO GUESS WHAT. I’M GONNA FUCK THE LOSERS’ BRACKET! THAT’S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. MY SUPER LASER PISS! EXCEPT I’M NOT GONNA PISS ON THE LOSERS’ BRACKET. I’M GONNA GO HIGHER. I’M PISSING ON THE WINNERS’ BRACKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, WOODMAN??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?? I PISSED ON THE WINNERS’ BRACKET, YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE TWENTY THREE HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING TOURNAMENT TABLE! NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING INTERVIEW BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO!!!!

What the heck is going on over here?!